Dealing with mortality and relationships

TheDroogie · 2019-12-26T10:39:10+00:00

Been there a few times. Done that. Her opinion is irrelevant. Connect with your mom. She’s the only one that is important here. Tell her you love her (if you do), let her know she’s top of your mind. Be there with her if you can, and if you can’t then call her regularly.

We all handle these things in her own way. In these situations men and women have different roles and burdens. Women cry and empathize and shake their fists at the world. Men handle the situation, keep everything on track and bury our loved ones when we need to.

If we haven’t walked this path yet, we will.

We’re there with you Bro.

Protocol_Apollo · 2019-12-26T14:55:33+00:00

Never let them see you weak.

They’ll say everything to make you weak.

fannyfire · 2019-12-26T14:37:21+00:00

Your LTR may feel like she wants you to cry but she may not actually want you to cry.

It’s important to remember that women do not know what they want. We know this because women cannot determine who they’re attracted to. Studies have been proven to show that women’s minds and bodies are not whole. Do not listen to what she tells you to do. You are to handle the situation as you like. She is not your mother. She has no say how you are to react to your life. Ignore her and do what you think is right.

ialreadyreadit333 · 2019-12-26T14:38:10+00:00

I'm sorry that your family has to go through this difficult experience...

My own mother was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer 5 years ago, it had spread to the lymph nodes in her arm.

She recieved treatment and went into remission after surgery and things have been good since. We always worry it may come back, but she seems healthy now and is off treatment for 3 years.

My thoughts are with you all.

As for the woman, I'd say have an honest conversation about what you need her to do to support you. If she cant do that then increase distance. Your mom and yourself need to come first... sont even give thought to someone who is being a burden during this very difficult time.

empatheticapathetic · 2019-12-26T15:53:43+00:00

My sister has been with her chad for nearly 20 years, at his absolute beck and call. She is his BB essentially while he fucks around.

His dad died one day and he mentioned it in passing to her. She tried her absolute hardest to get him to break and 'show emotion' but he knew better and remained stoic all day and never mentioned it again. He knew there was zero benefit to further discussing anything with her and ultimately she was impressed he did not react at all.

Just be there for your mom and don't let your gf get in the way.

FinancialThanks1 · 2019-12-26T10:55:11+00:00

Tell her what she’s doing and that you want her to stop. If she doesn’t stop, withdraw attention

damaged_goods420 · 2019-12-26T12:54:19+00:00

Family >> all else

CainPrice · 2019-12-26T14:37:36+00:00

Your girlfriend has been tained by modern society. She thinks that real men emote like women, cry like babies, and whine and complain all the time. Can you blame her? That's what 99% of the men in her life have been like.

So she genuinely believes that when you don't emote like a woman, that's you being a fragile masculinity type who's wearing a tough guy mask and pretending. And by putting this false self forward, you're not "respecting" the situation enough. The idea that you're really like this and not pretending is alien to her.

You don't have to dump her for assuming you're like 99% of loser men in the world. Why wouldn't she?

Just hit her with the strong independent woman line feminism taught her the next time she's being overberaing "Cut it out! Stop making my feelings about you!"

Zombiespire · 2019-12-26T19:39:43+00:00

You're not showing enough vulnerability and she can tell you are putting up a stoic act. Nobody reacts to their mom's cancer with "Well that's shitty." You can be honest with her that this legitimately pains you and you're scared of losing her BUT you have to stay strong for her.

Listen to the song For Mama by Matt Monroe. Don't even try to tell me Matt Monroe is a beta.

She will appreciate the vulnerability you opened to let her in which is FANTASTIC IF NOT ESSENTIAL for emotional bonding with this girl. And she will ALSO remain attracted to you because you are holding frame and remaining strong through this really difficult time by not having a breakdown and remaining calm. This also tella her even at you're worst she can feel safe and secure with you.

This is called attracting women with honesty. Sometimes the act and the game don't work and instead work against us. The only thing that should never change is your confidence and frame.

Alphabetron1 · 2019-12-26T23:14:56+00:00

It's good you're seriously thinking about hitting the next button. I can't stand girls that tries to suck emotions out of people.

thrwy75479 · 2019-12-27T06:16:31+00:00

Focus on your mother.

That I need to show more respect for the situation and cry.

Whatever you do, do not cry because she told you to.

I'm thinking about nexting her for making me miserable by giving me help that I don't want.

She wants to be useful. Make her do things. Ask her to make some food for hospital visits, help out with laundry, or cleaning the house, etc. Keep her busy.

cumberger · 2019-12-29T02:13:44+00:00

she had the fucking audacity to tell you to have more respect for your mother’s sickness? are you fucked?

theUnBannableHulk · 2019-12-26T13:15:25+00:00

Tell her to shut the fuck up and trying to tell you how to feel.

She doesn’t know shit about being in this situation.

Why do you even have to ask this

xoxuv · 2019-12-26T16:44:25+00:00

"I don't need you to make my life worse", "stop telling me what to do or you will go before my mother"

Title	Dealing with mortality and relationships
Author	Musicgoon
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	December 26, 2019 10:32 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eftyzk/dealing_with_mortality_and_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dealing-with-mortality-and-relationships.303069 https://theredarchive.com/post/303069

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