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Does a string of casual hookups inhibit your ability to form pair-bonds as a male in the same way it does with a female?

slothsenpai
May 10, 2018
4 upvotes
/r/askTRP
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Post Information
Title Does a string of casual hookups inhibit your ability to form pair-bonds as a male in the same way it does with a female?
Author

slothsenpai
Upvotes 4
Comments 25
Date May 10, 2018 1:20 PM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ieth9/does_a_string_of_casual_hookups_inhibit_your/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/does-a-string-of-casual-hookups-inhibit-your.96841
https://theredarchive.com/post/96841
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Comments

[–]abdada15 points16 points17 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

The answer is oddly yes but it isn't a negative or derogatory condition for a male, actually. If anything, it actually increases frame and also builds value for females who do want to pair bond and are suitable partners for it.

The one downside is that loneliness is derived from dopamine and serotonin but also oxytocin -- so it's feasible that guys who slut around too much may end up feeling lonely like an incel might, but loneliness is not a negative condition.

[–]slothsenpai[S] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

That's what I'm trying to wonder, 'cause I went from being an incel to having a partner count of 30. Though it's a lot better than being an angry bitter virgin, something about it feels hollow and stagnant. I feel like I don't get those "butterfly" feelings like I did back in my youth so I dunno if casual sex decreases your oxytocin levels from the point of view of a male.

[–]abdada7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Sex and the chasing of sex does not fulfill the oxytocin needs a man may have, but if you're a fit and active man, your testosterone drive will overwhelm the oxytocin needs quite a bit.

Casual sex will imbalance your oxytocin drive but it is not permanent like in women (typically). Guys who take gear may be more female than male, though, so if you're a roidhead then you may be permanently damaging your pair bonding potential for the future if you also sleep around.

One thing that can help is to do plate weekends once a season -- invite a plate to go camping with you or sailing or whatever you do for a weekend away from home and reality. Let her push into your personal space more and give her the carrot on the stick with "wow you're so easy to be with when we're away from the big city, we should do this again next year" lololol.

[–]WoodWizzy870 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Aren’t the “oxytocin needs” just cultural. If we never knew about relationships....we’d still be rogue lion males rolling into town, bang bitches , then head back out to hunt and forage and not worry about bonding.

[–]abdada1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Oxytocin needs exist across mammal -- bonding isn't just intersex and intrasex but parent to child and even beta-to-alpha and alpha-to-beta. Only the omegas tend to not have that bond.

[–]Kommanderdude8 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No

[–]menial_optimist4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Jordan Peterson comments on redpill when he talks about casualization of sex requiring the individual to become a bit psychopathic. I feel this is the ultimate redpill because being so obsessed with plates (knowing they will break after 6-12 months), you casualize sex to a point where a woman is just a sex toy to you. You pass the shit tests, you weave through varying degrees of manipulation tactics with ease and it's like a game to you. These girls are barely even human in your eyes anymore. You might come to view an LTR as "weak beta shit" and conquering women for casual sex becomes your obsession.

[–]willowhawk1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

you're points are rooted in real issues but then you've let them get abit fantasticle. I doubt you've had long time "success" in ons and casual sex.

Point 1) you don't become obsessed with plates. You become so normalise to them coming and going that you don't care. Are you obsessed about brushing your teeth because you do twice everyday? Not really, you don't care its just a part of life.

2) casualize sex to the point that the girl is just a sex toy. Casual sex for a ONS does end up just being a means to a end. I want to fuck and this girl offers a solution. Casual sex with plates can be much more than just a sex toy tho. It's upto you really.

3) yes you pass shit test and weave through manipulations but it's not a game to you. It's just how you are it's the way you live your life.

4) Girls are bearly human in your eyes is frankly a worrying statement tbh, I'm hoping it was for dramatic effect. I think the fact that you don't care about a girl until you've known them for a while is more accurate. Girls aren't special or important in your eyes.

5) LTR I can't comment I haven't put much thought into it.

6) again the "conquering" and "obsession" in your last sentence shows a lack of success with women because you're still viewing them as a prize or a metric of success. The more redpill you get the more mindful and relaxed you become. Sex comes to you when you desire it. You don't need to obsess over it because you have more important things to do.

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

My success level with women is actually zero.

[–]willowhawk0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I could tell it was low but felt calling you out for being a Virgin would have seemed personal and unnecessary

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I haven't been a virgin for over 10 years, but the few conquests I've had I could hardly say were RP based.

[–]willowhawk0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So your success level with women isn't zero..

[–]fnordsnord 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No.

[–]slothsenpai[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Is the physiological process different in a male to that of a female in regards to ability to form bond-pairs and commit?

[–]willowhawk0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course, just like every physiological process between men and women.

[–]BeeBopJoe1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it does affect pair-bonding. The guys I know who have very high n counts cannot commit to one partner, always end up cheating and ruining relationships.

[–]LLL3peat0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It does and doesn’t. It’s cool to have the ability to fuck and do whatever you want on command or at a way higher percentage after swallowing the pill but you’ll connect and bind with those you choose to.

I was wondering this the other day. Fuck all you want but afterwards you’ll bond if you do more things/dates/memories and have things in common. If you do all the things you want and not bond.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

The research says that male sexual experience has no effect on ability to commit in marriage or on valuing one woman.

[–]otter6461a1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I’d like to believe this. Googled with little luck, got any evidence?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

hmmmmm I can't find it. It was very well publicised a year back - stats for divorce for men and women against number of partners. Can't find it quickly, but you'll be able to track it down if you try.

[–]otter6461a0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Ill keep looking, I do want to know. We in TRP are pretty into the idea that women get the ability to pair bond fucked out of them, and men do not, but I wonder if we’ve got a little echo chamber action going here. I’ll post if I find it.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Weird... still can't find it.... it was everywhere until recently.

Yes this place can be an echo chamber. Doesn't mean it's all wrong though.

[–]otter6461a1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

True dat

[–]otter6461a0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is in the ballpark, but more proves hypergamy than what we’re talking about ...

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPillScience/comments/8a332f/8020_on_some_online_dating_services_when_it_comes/?st=JH3LEHRY&sh=5ec6be26

[–]zboo1h-1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah. It actually makes you smarter. You don't end up LTR'ing unworthy sluts because you know the slut tells. You don't end up fooled and cheated and heartbroken because you don't commit to scumrats because you know the scumrat signs.

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