Dumped for the first time

Kobinks · 2019-10-25T07:21:06+00:00

I was writing about my journey but deleted it because I know you guys don’t give a fuck about that pussy shit.

Fuck me sideways, this one's actually got a few brain cells.

Been seeing this girl for 3 months, and was honestly wanting to LTR her, so I dropped my only other plate. Fucking stupid I know.

Far too soon to have properly vetted and it should have been her pushing for commitment, not you.

At least you know you fucked up though.

I fucked her Saturday all night and Monday afternoon, had an amazing date on Tuesday but logistics didn’t work out for sex. Saw her Thursday night but I could tell she was a bit off and nothing happened.

Sounds like you were seeing her too much for a start, it's hard to know exactly where you fucked up without being there but it was probably due to beta behaviour.

Me: “What exactly did you mean by dating?”
Her: “Just any of it”

Hard next, no contact. it's over.

In hindsight what should I have done when she asked about dating? Did she already have her mind made up? How would you have handled it?

Yes her mind was already made up, just learn from this mate... we tell people to act a certain way for a reason, because it works.

Just have another look through the side bar, its all in there.

I wouldn't have been in the situation in the first place and if asked i'd have shut that shit down instantly.

This is my first “heartbreak” (because I actually liked and cared about her) and not sure how to deal with it. How do I move on? How do I deal with the inevitable sadness?

You only get one first heartbreak so enjoy it, have a little cry and feel sorry for yourself for a few days its cathartic.

Then stop being a pussy, block her on everything, hit the gym hard and focus on improving yourself and building a roster of plates.

Vypered · 2019-10-25T07:14:17+00:00

“She’s not yours, it’s just your turn” is fundamental to Red Pill theory. Every Red Pill Man is operating on the fact that at any moment, without any notice, their woman may leave them, to branch swing, or for some other bizarre reason. Once you accept that, you’ll operate with Outcome Independence. AWALT, all women are like that.

Blackhawk2479 · 2019-10-25T07:15:42+00:00

Honestly, don’t waste time trying to understand girls and their motives.

She’s probably got someone else that she’s looking to lock down and was hoping you’d say no so you could carry on fucking without her conscience getting in the way.

Next time don’t shut down your other plates so quickly.

ZabuzAli · 2019-10-25T12:14:10+00:00

I fucked her Saturday all night and Monday afternoon, had an amazing date on Tuesday but logistics didn’t work out for sex. Saw her Thursday night but I could tell she was a bit off and nothing happened.

You were way to available. It's like food. Lets say you eat ice cream for the first time. It's awesome. Then you want to eat it more and more cause you love it soo much. After a while, you're eating it everyday.

BUT guess what happens to the ice cream when after you first ate it, your mom tells you: "And now you have to eat it every other day! Even if you are not hungry, I want and you need to eat this ice cream." Soon you will not want the ice cream anymore, you'll disgust it.

Same with girls. You have to love so that they feel free. If you let them free, they'll come looking for the ice cream themeselves and truly enjoy it. If you hand them the ice cream yourself a lot, they won't enjoy it as much anymore. Seems to me like you were expecting her to spend more time with you than she wanted.

Haytch1234 · 2019-10-25T12:24:53+00:00

Saw her way too much of her too soon.

See her once and space it out. You need to have that bitch actually miss you which wont happen if you are around her too much. Absence makes the heart grow fond. Remember that.

P.S Dont hug bitches. She doesnt deserve it. She asked about dating because she knew you wanted to date her. You gave it away by seeing so much of her too soon. And by her not telling you to fuck off directly she wont feel like a shit person.

Learn your lesson.

Just go fuck more girls so you stop falling for fairytale bullshit. Fuck girls and just go focus on your life and meet other people. Hit the girls up randomly. Say a casual hello here and there. But dont constantly want to see them.

Herdsengineers · 2019-10-25T13:41:16+00:00

Her: "Are we dating?"

You: "My other girlfriends might not like more competition for my time" or "If you have to ask, the answers probably not yet at least." then followed by "is that what you want?"

Ie - flip it back on her to push for commitment or not. If she does, and you are wanting it, great. If she does not, then if you push when she doesn't want it, she's gonna run.

MattyAnon · 2019-10-25T14:11:11+00:00

I hugged her and said “I guess I’ll see you around” and then left.

You're better off with "goodbye" rather than expressing hope of seeing her again.

Please help me analyse what the fuck I did wrong so I can learn for next time.

I don't know what you actually did "wrong". But this is not the right way to look at it because there is no such thing as "right". There's literally nothing you can do to guarantee things will work out how you want. Too alpha, too beta, too weak, too nice, not nice enough? You'll never know.

The fact that you want to learn for next time shows that you are still thinking in terms of "make this work". When a man takes on board the responsibility to "make this work", the woman knows she can slack off, safe in the knowledge she's onto a sure thing.

So you stop making it work...... and then sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't AND THATS JUST FINE. The only way to live you life is to be mostly emotionally insulated from the vagaries of others. See the sidebar "there's this one girl".

TheBunk_TB · 2019-10-25T13:45:16+00:00

"I guess I’ll see you around"

Then you should have grabbed her and kissed her.

Title	Dumped for the first time
Author	ZabuzAli
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	October 25, 2019 6:44 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dmtjan/dumped_for_the_first_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dumped-for-the-first-time.292640 https://theredarchive.com/post/292640

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