Hey guys,

So this post is a bit soft, if you are just gonna repeat some shit then go away. People and life are complicated. I'm an empathetic sort of guy, I care about people I like/liked and how I come across.

So I'm a bit of an outcast sadly - I have normalish hobbies, but no regular friends. I live in a small town, and I accept being an outsider, but I'm working on making friends etc. However, I have also accepted that I might not get friends/pussy until I leave school. If you are thinking "dude, just game some other girls" then this is your answer. Also, I don't approach, but I'm ready for it when there's good opportunites (have done this before).

I have a lot of time to myself, hobbies and thinking a lot. Recently I remembered a girl I met a while ago, hot, smart, funny. She was a bit older, different, not unicorn but certainly weird/boyish for a girl. We clicked because we were outcasts/weird.

She treated me pretty well, but ignored me when I was just being an idiot (lol), and she seemed to have a strong RP/IDGAF vibe about her. My guess is she probably lost someone close at some point in her life (or something similar).

Anyway I screwed up, tried to act IDGAF and I guess it failed. I didn't see her for a while, but I asked her out over FB and she declined. I had a good rapport until then - but afterwards I cut contact, and ignored her when I saw her (nothing was said). Tried to be IDGAF and just forget about her. This was a mistake; looking back, I was happy with being "friends" with her. Good times and shit. You read that correctly.

That was 1 1/2 years ago; I'm long over her as a potential ltr but she was great fun as a person. As far as sex/LTRs go, I'm ready for other girls, my SMV has skyrocketed and I feel ready for life. But I remembered her recently and I felt bad. I tried to be a "bad boy" ages ago and it didn't work. I just acted like an immature douche to a girl I really cared about. I guess I still care about her, I get that she's not in my future but IDK what to do about it. I'm not gonna be out of here for a while...

Well, after my SMV increased, I saw her once, and she gave me freakish IoI's. I ignored them, she unfriended me. So that came as a suprise.

Anyway, she treated me well and I feel like I acted butthurt to her, she was sorta like a "big sister" to me. I'm not going to apologise but I've thought before that'd I'd like to let her know that I'm cool with her; i.e. not a butthurt, bitter little shit that I was.

So I thought I'd message her and ask her out. Let her know that I'm still ok with her, and I'd be down to catch up. Again, I've accepted that she probably won't care, but I don't want regrets on my part.

I'm a different dude to how I was 2 years ago and I can handle the rejection. I'm not too bothered with the outcome.

I'm really only providing all this context for one reason;

My gut tells me it's the right thing to do, as a generally caring sorta guy, for the sake of the good times. But my head says it's creepy. I could argue both sides for days but I don't know which one to trust. How might I go about with this ?

TL;DR - acted butthurt to a girl I had a good conection with. Moved on romantically but feel regret due to my immature actions. SMV increased and feel more confident/sincere - how should I end on a good note?