Endless shit tests and emotional beatings

InflatableRaft · 2014-10-30T15:22:45+00:00

Here's the thing, you know you fucked up by admitting weakness, but you're continuing to fuck up by tolerating poor behaviour from this girl you are dating. You need to set clear expectations for her behaviour and clear consequences for not living up to your expectations.

If she brings it up again, cock your head back, look her squarely in the eye and tell her this: "I brought this up in the first place because I had doubts about your ability to deal with this and the way you are carrying on demonstrates to me that you aren't capable of dealing with it. If you can't show me that you can be cool and keep it together, there's no way I'm taking you to this party."

Any more drama and next her immediately.

tombreck2 · 2014-10-30T14:13:05+00:00

Soft next might be the way to go; don't contact her.

But if she contacts you then you can talk or hang out.

1NV0K3R · 2014-10-30T14:09:12+00:00

that my ex may be at a party we are goin to, and I Was nervous it would be awkward

Why would it be awkward? Shes an ex and you have nexted her right?

Proceeds to beat me up about it....and the truth is, I really don't care that much

It seems, that, you do, indeed, really care that much. If you didn't care that much you would be passing her shit tests or just ignoring them.

You need to figure out what is going on within you regarding your ex(which should be nothing) and then continue working on frame and passing shit tests.

gideonrakthor · 2014-10-30T18:58:41+00:00

TBH, your RP mindset isn't there yet (no one is a perfect alpha) if you said that bit about your ex. Someone more advanced than you would simply not say something like that because they wouldn't give 2 fucks about seeing their ex again. She picked up on that and is upset that you slipped up and hurled a slurry of shit tests to confirm/take advantage of you.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-10-30T20:50:15+00:00

You ARE an asshole. She should remember that the next time she pisses you off.

And btw, SHE'S the one who needs to get over it.

oldredder · 2014-10-31T08:57:02+00:00

'NEXT' is the answer when SHE is the problem. When you're the problem...

I feel like you are leaving out a critical detail about what you said or how you said it, like level of interest in there being an ex-girlfriend at a party.

Are you obligating your new girlfriend to be subjected to your previous girlfriend?

Are you acting like you still have interest in the ex?

Title	Endless shit tests and emotional beatings
Author	_penseroso_
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	October 30, 2014 2:02 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2ks5j7/endless_shit_tests_and_emotional_beatings/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/endless-shit-tests-and-emotional-beatings.143240 https://theredarchive.com/post/143240

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