Hey guys, I'm sorry if this seems like a cry for help but in feeling suicidal today and just needed some consolation, advice and just to get out of my headspace. Recently moved back with my parents and things have just been different. I was in a frat and always had the boys around, partied all the time and was just living life (what I thought I was doing). I had a bad back and had to drop out of school so I've been kind of trying to fix it. It's not really working out and it's just making me want to give up. Even my family life is a uphill battle of me trying to keep my depressed blue pill father in line and get him out of his shit and trying to help my mom grow and find better outlets for herself and I'm just tired man. I cant handle another conversation with them. No one in my immediate family can hold a proper conversation when I need to speak to them and there all just so fucking annoying, maybe it's me, who knows. I'm working a factory job where I clock in clock out. Do the work I'm told to do and go to the gym and do something every day(yoga, weights, runs) go home play chess,read, learn the piano or make music. Go to sleep and wake up with my shoulders stiff and my back hurting. It's gotten much better but I still fucking cant put my all into something without this bitch hurting me. Fuck. Now I'm trying to also network constantly and talk to people so I join the planning committee of a food bank. I mean it works but what the fuck else am I suppose to do. I game, I talk to chicks. Just times like this is when it gets bad. My whole life feels like its crumbling even though it's not.

What do I do man!

Tl;dr suicidal rant