Discovered the red pill three years ago. I read a lot, started lifting, and internalized the content. Or so I thought. I did accept most of the knowledge here, but my mission was still women. I was using red pill techniques to satisfy blue pill needs. No more.

My primary objective is the following: accepting myself for who I am, loving myself for who I am. Finally be happy with myself, instead of relying on external validation. Be unaffected by having women in my life or not. Secondary objectives: working on my social skills, finding fulfilling activities to do in my free time (at the moment, it's just being bored and brooding).

What I already do:

  • I lift religiously 4 times a week.

  • My diet and sleep are on point.

  • I started CrossFit a month ago, as my cardio and stamina is shit.

  • Career and money is good (I definitely could work on a side-hustle, but I'll save that for later).

  • I'm slowly educating myself financially and I've started investing a bit (in my country there is no 401k or IRA, and people usually don't invest much as retirement is provided by the government).

  • I completely cut down video games (my main addiction), almost don't watch netflix, don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs (ish).

Monk mode improvements:

  • Meditation. The Mind Illuminated will be my first monk mode read. Meditated 10 minutes yesterday for the first time ever. Will increase to 20 minutes over 10 days, and keep doing that daily.

  • More physical activity. At the moment, I'm lifting 4 times a week (nsuns 5/3/1) and going to crossfit 2-3 times a week. I want to add a weekly session of yoga into the mix, one "social physical activity" like a meetup running or hiking event, and I'm considering adding combat sport as well. Goal is to be physical active every day.

  • Reading. The Mind Illuminated, then Letting Go: the Power of Surrender. These two should help me a lot dealing my shit. Yesterday I read married man sex life primer, but I knew most of the stuff there regarding the male action plan so it wasn't of much help. I'll then read NMMNG as I have nice guy tendencies, and proceed with How To Win Friends and Influence People + 48 Laws of Power, Mastery, and then the recommended books on illimitablemen. That's already several weeks / months of reading.

  • No more porn, no more masturbation.

  • Getting my T checked. I have an appointment this afternoon for blood work. Will be trickier to get TRT in my country though.

  • One social activity per week. As I'm a natural introvert, being social is not my baseline. I spent most of my life sitting alone in my house nerding and being depressed (I'm 33 so that's a long time). My social skills are lacking. There are much I need to learn. I'm thinking about joining erasmus events as they're filled with foreign students, which will also allow me to better my english (not my first language), but I don't want to be the creepy old guy as I'll be 10 years older than the demography there. Any suggestion is welcome.

  • Positivity and gratitude. No more negative thoughts, positive reinforcement. Any book / article / blog suggestion is welcome.

  • 2-3 hours with my gf per week. The relationship is dead, I've been beta. I still have feelings for her. I will not dump her, instead I will use this relationship as an experiment to be assertive, stand my ground, and make her understand I'm the priority. I'll do that as long as it takes for her to dump me. Doesn't matter if she does or not, my goal is to obliterate my feelings.

That's my plan. I welcome any criticism or suggestion in order to more effectively grow from boy to man.