So, I got out of a 5 year LTR. I had oneitis and it was horrible waste of time that should have ended at least 3 years ago. Spent 6 months pretty much in isolation, but not depressed, just working out and learning.

After awhile, I was pretty thirsty, and I decided I needed some practice with a girl I wouldn't be an intimidated with at all. I picked a girl that I dated before the LTR. Maybe a 3, being generous. I screwed her over, and she married the next putz that came along.

So, with the sidebar fresh in my head, I did really well online. I always left her wanting, and she initiated every conversation after I made contact. It took 3 days to get her to my house. She came at midnight, by herself, while her husband was at work.

It was pretty natural and comfortable. She was open with me, and we laughed a lot. But, when I would try to touch her, she would smile, her body would react, then this look would cross her face, like she suddenly remembered she wasn't supposed to like it, and she'd push my hand away. So I'd just go back to what I was doing, being cool, eye fucking, and try again. Every time it seemed to take a little bit longer before shed remember shes not supposed to like me and push me away.

So after awhile I decided to go nuclear. I approached from behind, put my arm around her waist. She leaned into me and I nuzzled my face into her neck. She let herself enjoy it for about ten seconds, then she announced she had to leave, and practically bolted out the door.

I know that she wasn't running from me, she was running from herself. The cognitive dissonance was palpable. She wanted me, but she couldn't admit it to herself.

It was a little disheartening being rejected by someone so far below my SMV, but for a first TRP interaction I guess it was pretty successful. I definitely learned a lot from it.

Any advice? Strategies I could use to get past her ASD in the future? Was it a mistake to target someone I had history with? Any feedback is appreciated!