GF refuses to do something for me which she used to do to please her ex - what do I do?

[deleted] · 2013-11-06T23:37:26+00:00

So:

I am a first year undergrad

You're young

in my first relationship

Inexperienced

She is my first sexual partner ever, while she’s had one before me. Due to my typical young male insecurities this has bothered me.

And resentful about it

a girl that I have genuinely strong feelings for... I really love her and that’s why I want this to work out

With a touch of oneitis

she refuses to do something for me that she used to do for him. We did it once, after I nearly broke up with her but she refuses to do it again... she used to do to please her scumbag ex, who she says she wasn’t in love with.

For a girl who doesn't seem too attracted to you or that worried about losing you (probably because she believes that you're too attached)

I have a feeling that this is not going to happen.

Me, too. If you're not satisfied with your relationship, find another girl and get over being resentful. You're in college - I've heard there's plenty of girls there.

wakeupzombie · 2013-11-07T09:55:38+00:00

Red pill hint: Instead of talking about the" thing you want her to do that she doesn't want to do but used to do with her ex," man up and describe this act. It's the internets. We don't care. So you're trying to ask why she won't give you head? could it be: a) she didn't really do it for him, is grossed out by it, and is sort of using the idea to fuck with you

b) you're not asking in the right way. are you begging? hinting? guilting? Doesn't work. You need to talk dirty to her.

btw, if this is the case, are you willing to do the same for her?

redpillschool · 2013-11-07T15:11:36+00:00

She clearly doesn't think she needs to please you because you are already smitten with her. You gotta drop that oneitis quick.

Rule of thumb, never talk about old partners EVER. Some chicks decide they want to bring it up, like they're bragging. I tell them I don't wanna hear that shit. Shit will taint the rest of your relationship.

I've gone home with chicks just for them to pull that shit on me- and I've left without doing the deed because it's just such a turn off.

Learn this for next time.

Anyway, nothing we say is going to give you the experience you need to learn how to power through this, so just keep our advice in mind after mistakes are made- remember: there is a balance of power in a relationship and she's got it right now.

Exactly_what_I_think · 2013-11-07T02:51:52+00:00

Girl don't blow? Leav dat hoe ~

If you want to know how to avoid this in future relationships, you simply need to work on building dominance (aka gym / nutrition / and obviously attitude). Women love sucking the cock of a dominant man.

You will never talk your way into a blow job. But a bottle of wine, a quite dinner, a passionate make-out followed by pulling out your cock and slapping her in the face with it should do the job.

riskrowe · 2013-11-07T00:06:21+00:00

I was in the same situation. I got the urge to chat up other women, but I didn't because I was a good little beta. We stayed together for another year of arguing and resentment, all avoidable if I'd just nexted her when my instincts told me to. Follow your dick. Use the confidence you gain from currently having a girl as leverage to get better ones...

We did it once, after I nearly broke up with her

... or at least to play the dread game.

I have made it clear to her why this is so important to me and intend to give her time without pushing for it and see if she’ll agree at some point

Good, say you won't push her so she won't expect it, then one night when she's really aroused just go for it. That's how I managed to get it in the end... pun intended.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2013-11-07T04:30:55+00:00

Are you talking about anal? If so In my opinion getting santorum on your dick isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yeah it can be really naughty sometimes but you pretty much have to take a shower afterwards.

I really love her and that’s why I want this to work out,

Translation: you're terrified of rejection and terrified of failure.

Both of these fears you must take strong steps to destroy immediately. They must be replaced by an "abundance mentality" that says that you can survive without female bullshit in your life, and there are plenty more women out there to choose from.

idash · 2013-11-07T19:49:43+00:00

So, she doesn't like doing it and where as her "scumbag ex" maybe convinced her to do it, she is glad you don't. But you want her to do something she might find very uncomfortable, because you love her. Right.

TehGinjaNinja · 2013-11-07T21:54:20+00:00

I know I can never be fully happy knowing that she is not willing to do something for me, who she claims she loves more than anything, that she used to do to please her scumbag ex, who she says she wasn’t in love with

It sounds like what's frustrating you is that she isn't willing to work as hard to please you as she was her ex. That's a legitimate complaint, but what you may be missing is the fact that you may be easier to please than her ex. The solution is to become harder to please.

We did it once, after I nearly broke up with her

You made it clear that you were unhappy, so she worked harder to please you. See how that works.

but she refuses to do it again

Now she is complacent, because she doesn't expect you to really break up with her over this. Seems to me that you need to dispel her complacency, however, I'd recommend some subtlety. Don't threaten to break-up with her out-right, just pull away a bit and see how she responds.

Smile less when she's around. If she asks what's wrong, say "Nothing" and act like you don't know what she's talking a bout.

Be less physically affectionate, and when she initiates physical intimacy shoot her down and tell her you're not in the mood. If she asks what's wrong, say "Nothing, I'm just don't feel like fooling around."

Communicate with her in mono syllables, short sentences, or even just basic noises ("huh", "hmm...", etc.)

Flirt with other women in front of her. If she calls you on it say "I'm just being friendly". B

latantly check out other women when she's around. Mention how hot another woman looks, as said woman appears on TV, in a movie or walks by. If she complains, just roll your eyes and say, "I'm a man, I'm supposed to like women."

Don't behave like this all the time.

Introduce it in small doses, and then gradually increase. When she calls you on it, behave like you have no idea what shes talking about. The goal here is to make her wonder if your not happy and satisfied with her, so she feels like she has to work harder to keep you.

If her reaction is to pull away in return (spending less time with you, getting short tempered with you etc.), then you should dump her as that indicates she was just using you for her own gratification and that the relationship isn't really important to her.

Title	GF refuses to do something for me which she used to do to please her ex - what do I do?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	25
Date	November 6, 2013 11:12 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1q26f1/gf_refuses_to_do_something_for_me_which_she_used/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-refuses-to-do-something-for-me-which-she-used.196329 https://theredarchive.com/post/196329

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