Has anyone gotten back with an ex and things worked out?

aurelius_shrugs · 2016-09-07T08:25:09+00:00

Short answer yes.

Better answer: don't go digging through the trash.

CardioPumps · 2016-09-07T08:37:37+00:00

top-notch-alpha

asks this

fnordsnord · 2016-09-07T12:27:01+00:00

I've never seen it work. From either direction.

Usually, one person (typically the guy, but not always) is still in love, but the other one is just lonely or feeling insecure.

The attraction is gone.

RP_78 · 2016-09-07T09:40:10+00:00

going back with an ex is a bad idea and will fail within a couple weeks

Failing within a couple of week is the best case, trust me.

I did it, it was a big mistake, and never did it again.

latiostw · 2016-09-07T13:39:50+00:00

My ex and I have been back together for 6months now. Initially we broke up because I cheated on her.

And tbh you could call my current situation a success, but once the glass is broken there is no use piecing them back together. She will never fully trust me again because of my history. And often times, I crave being single.

Ultimately, I would say no, there are plenty more girls in the world, why go back to the old one?

quicklogaccount · 2016-09-07T18:09:46+00:00

But has anyone been able to pull it off and make the ex desire you again?

Over the course of the relationship, as she takes you for granted, she adds your worth and smv to hers in her view, leaving her ALWAYS on top. If you pull the trigger on the relationship, she often sees things at face value real quick. She notices your attraction value, which she had been ignoring, and misses the comfort in a single spike. IF your smv was above hers and she's not delusional about her own worth, breaking up and getting back together should cause a boost in attraction if you did it.

So, pretty much, getting an ex to desire you again is pretty simple. As long as you're attractive she'll desire you once you're gone. Even if you were the beta she settled for, if your value was above hers, it'll have this effect.

What doesn't work well is the relationship afterwards. It was out of tracks and you'll have to fix it. You have the boost in attraction but you have a low in comfort, she'll probably be defensive, if she's insecure or issued, she'll be looking into checking herself out so she doesn't get hurt again. You'll need a very strong and definite frame, mainly to prevent the betafying to happen again.

notagayguy69 · 2016-09-07T18:52:22+00:00

The problems that caused you to break up in the first place will always arise again.

OmegaMan2 · 2016-09-07T19:10:19+00:00

A number of my friends, and me as well either ditched or were ditched by their girlfriends but eventually got back together again and ended up getting married.

When my girlfriend gave me the heave-ho I played it cool and didn't contact her for a few months. In the mean time I had a few ONSs and other girls on the side. When I called my ex one day out of the blue, she was overjoyed to hear from me and that is when I knew that I had it in the bag. The difference this time was that I wanted to make sure that she really wanted me back and I made her work for it. We started casually enough and over the next two years she tried very hard to show me what a good wife she would make. She cooked for me, cleaned my apartment, ironed my clothes, but most importantly she ripped my clothes off and would drag me into bed.

We did get married and now have 4 children, but unlike other marriages she continued to drag me into bed. Believe me I'm not complaining.

The secret really is to never let yourself go and if she sees her friends hitting on you, then she will work that much harder to keep you.

Be loyal, be kind and be decent to your woman but always be the man that other women desire.

Igetitnow2 · 2016-09-07T20:44:18+00:00

I was where you are at the beginning of the year. Searching the Internet for anyone that said it was a good idea to get back with her. There's not much of that.

I was constantly thinking of her, it was terrible withdrawal, much worse than the alcohol and cigarette addictions I've conquered. Ignoring the advice of everyone, I texted her and we got back together for about three weeks total. She didn't really like my new idea that I'm not paying for all her shit anymore and stopped hanging out. Then she sent some mean texts saying she's done. This did give me the elusive closure and I didn't have the debilitating longing for her anymore.

Then she blocked me on facebook when she saw that I took the vacation I had mentioned she could go on with me and then bad mouthed me on her timeline, a mutual friend told me. Months later I updated my profile picture on another trip which shows my gains and she started calling all my friends she had contacts for. None would talk to her. She still trys texting my one friend occasionally. Fishing for info and a way back in I'm sure.

My advice, try it, keep frame, then move on, chances of it working out are pretty slim.

Rorta · 2016-09-07T22:18:54+00:00

I got back with an ex, did things work out? Yeah, for about five or six months, then I had some shit happen in my personal life that really fucked me up and sent me into a deep depression. Had I continued making great strides in my self-development would things have worked out? Possibly but probably not.

NolanKnowstheTruth · 2016-09-08T00:07:50+00:00

Guys/Girls will start thinking about getting back together because they only remember the good times, not the bad, but in the end, They are your "Ex" for a reason.

top-notch-alpha · 2016-10-13T15:20:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheLonerMan · 2016-09-07T14:53:09+00:00

I haven't seen or heard from my ex in almost 2 years, but I would take her back in a heartbeat.

Title	Has anyone gotten back with an ex and things worked out?
Author	top-notch-alpha
Upvotes	4
Comments	35
Date	September 7, 2016 8:15 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/51k82h/has_anyone_gotten_back_with_an_ex_and_things/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/has-anyone-gotten-back-with-an-ex-and-things.110954 https://theredarchive.com/post/110954

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