Hey guys,

I'm dating a woman of almost 4 years and we have an "okay" relationship. 75% of the time it's great and we banter and have fun, however it consists of a lot of arguing the other 25%.

What's weird though is when ever we argue it is almost ALWAYS in the car. Usually how it goes is Ill say something ( either my opinion about something or something that relates to future logistics) and she misunderstands me every single time and it becomes very heated. I looked at myself first and thought "well maybe my communication isn't as effective as I think it is" however I don't have this problem with anyone else in my life and never have. Don't get me wrong she is seems like a smart girl, but sometimes I am in awe at the things she regurgitates back to me. She takes everything that I say super literally. It's as if she takes the sentence I'm conveying and recreates a whole new meaning from using a portion of the sentence. Like she is cherry picking the information I'm giving her. Is this just a woman being a woman and I have to overcompensate for clear communication or is just her?

So here are the two problems I'm facing. (which are almost one in the same.)

  1. She takes what I say extremely literally.

  2. She cherry picks information and makes herself a victim of certain situations saying that I said one thing when I did not. A better expression is that she bends the truth of my words to justify actions she takes or rude things she says/does. ( Is this some sort of weird test? )

How do I handle this?