I'm almost 20, and I still have no clear vision of what I want to do with my life.

Meanwhile there are freaks who have honed skills for multiple years, have unrelentless passion for what they are doing and a blind belief in what they do, all things that I think are crucial if you ever want to become the best at something.

And yet, It's not like most of them "chose" to live like this, life just played out like that to them.

So here I am, almost 20, thinking to myself realistically - how the fuck can I even compete with these guys, to realise some big goal of mine when there is probably some asian out there or whatever doing it harder and longer than me. Not only that, grinding 14+ hours a day if not more for these freaks is "normal", which is obviously not a healthy lifestyle.

Am I really being that unrealistic here? Like, do people really think most famous or rich people got there because they thought they would and not due to correct upbringing, right place right time etc etc? I understand that this is not healthy thinking, but my logic thinks it's realistic. After all, I doubt even 10% of the Redpill userbase is "Redpilled" , which just proves that it's mostly a luck of the draw. After all, I found this subreddit only by luck, if I didn't, I'd be a completely different person now. It all seems like there is no real control, only an illusion of having it. I have a hard time committing to anything these days due to always thinking things are mostly out of my control even if I do control the things I can, so I don't try at all, which sucks as well.