How do I avoid hinging my self-worth on a woman's opinion of me?

spoetnick · 2015-02-23T12:38:15+00:00

The way I read it, you basically answer your own question.

You look for that one special lady that isn't like all of the others. You are hunting for a unicorn. While you are looking for this one, you also tend to see every lady that has any interest in you as this potential unicorn. This turns you, like you've said yourself, in a beta boy looking for validation.

This is the opposite of what you need for a abundance mentality. When you believe that AWALT, the mythical unicorn dies. No more looking for that one special lady. They are all basically the same. From that point on you start building a abundance mentality.

When you talk to a woman, you don't care how she see's you, because it doesn't matter. If this one doesn't like you it doesn't matter, because there are thousands of chicks just like her. It doesn't matter that you don't spark her interest because she is just some chick and not a potential unicorn.

The things 'you have to be' in order to attract people are kind of non specific. The main thing is that you have to be confident. You don't have much to do with your time, you don't want a career. Do you have a hobby or something like that? Even when you have a problem with existence in general, being bored is still boring.

Use your time and do something that you like.

Hope this made any sense man. Good luck!

secret_barber · 2015-02-23T12:52:44+00:00

Focus on impressing yourself by doing shit outside your comfort zone. Set goals and achieve them. This will build confidence and thereby attract higher quality people into your life.

whynotzoidburger · 2015-02-23T12:41:53+00:00

Go out, find the dirtiest easiest chick you can find, bang her and then realize thats as good as sex can get and that past that its just emotional fluff and bullshit.

It worked for me. Once you take them off that pedestal it makes life a hundred times easier.

MrEiffel · 2015-02-23T14:04:53+00:00

Ignore women and start working on yourself. It's abundently clear you have some major self-esteem/confidence issues. Once you become a proud and strong man, you won't give shit about anyone's opinion.

RPSigmaStigma · 2015-02-23T14:49:20+00:00

Based on this and your other comments, I think you should consider the possibility that you may be a gamma. Check out these links and be brutally honest with yourself, and see if anything clicks:

Edit: Since gamma's are notorious for denying their own gamma-hood, allow me to point out the numerous gamma tells in your post and comments:

I don't have many prospects, as far as women are concerned, the way I live my life sort of repels them.

This is positively indicative of omega, gamma and to some degree delta behavior. The phrasing especially ("the way I live my life") indicates gamma. It implies a sort of haughty self-justification instead of honest reflection.

For some strange reason

This type of phrasing is all over your posts. Passive voice deflection, lack of ownership and accountability. Gamma's are notorious for placing the emphasis on things external to themselves.

For some reason

There it is again... It's basically feminine reasoning, similar to the "it just happened" and "one thing lead to another" style of deflection that women use constantly.

I'll start to offload all of these wonderful traits, I'll start to build up these fantasies about this girl.

Projection and idealization of women is a classic gamma tell.

I'm constantly holding onto this hope that I will find a person that isn't simply chasing their own pleasures.

Aside from the NAWALT "everyone is special" mentality already pointed out by others here, there is also the haughty and self-righteous "I don't just chase 'simple pleasures' because I'm more deep and nuanced than everyone else" mentality. If you're starting to think I'm just a jerk putting you down, that's your narcissism defending your ego from honest self-reflection, which is, you guessed it, a gamma tell. :)

From your comments:

I want them to see past my lack of social status and acknowledge me for who I am. I like who I am.

The idea that people should just accept who you "are" without judgments is narcissism. It's a denial of the opinions and values of others, essentially dehumanizing others in defense of your ego. "I shouldn't have to become an appealing person in order for people to find me appealing!" The extreme version of this is the fat-acceptance movement among women. Again, gammas are highly prone to feminine thinking patterns and that's basically what this is. It's narcissistic solipsism to deny the validity of other people's experiences of you. This is why gamma's deny SMV.

Title	How do I avoid hinging my self-worth on a woman's opinion of me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	21
Date	February 23, 2015 12:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2wv56l/how_do_i_avoid_hinging_my_selfworth_on_a_womans/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-avoid-hinging-my-self-worth-on-a-womans.191904 https://theredarchive.com/post/191904

Comments