How do I develop better social skills?

throwawaycomedian95 · 2016-04-13T07:48:11+00:00

Read about social skills and talk to people

red_recruit · 2016-04-13T11:50:22+00:00

Small talk is easy - you have to find something to which the other person can relate. You see a guy wearing a t-shirt with someone funny on it then you comment on it. He laughs, you laugh. Now you look around for something to talk about.

You: "Shit, avocados are expensive these days." Him: "Yeah man, can't eat them anymore. Have to decide whether I'm making that down payment on my car or eating them."

From here on in it is easier:

You opened, he reciprocated which means he is open to having a conversation. From here your only concerns are to keep the conversation flowing and not messing it up by saying something stupid.

To learn how to speak to a women you need to start talking to women who you don't want to fuck. Mothers, sisters, cousins. It is like talking to a guy, except the approach varies slightly.

You: "Damn, these avocados are expensive, I can't afford to eat them anymore." Her: "Yeah, it's crazy right?"

You are talking about a fact here. It is not an attempt to pick her up because women get offered so much dick during the day they have develop an ear for pickup lines.

You: "It is almost like I have to choose between making that down payment on my car or eating avocados smile" Her: "Haha, yeah that's true."

A smile is a non-threatening gesture. Now she is feeling comfortable because you're not trying to pick her up (really you aren't), if she isn't a 5 star bitch she will be open for more conversation.

You: "I haven't seen you here before, do you shop here often?" Her: "No, I'm new in town."

Before you answer "then we should hook up and I'll show you around", that is not the purpose in this example. You're pushing your own boundaries, slowly escalating the type of questions that you ask. If you are more advanced with social skills by all means, get that number and tap that ass.

You: "My turn to pay, cheers." Her: "Bye."

End the conversation. Don't stare at her, don't look at her as you walk away. Her job is done, she did some small talk and that was her purpose for today. You just spoke to a woman and didn't freak her, scare her or vomit on her. Congratulations.

docmongre · 2016-04-13T12:01:22+00:00

Hey dude...you're not alone. We are everywhere. I am twice your age and I remember what it's like.

The thing to keep in mind is everyone is socially awkward. Some are just better at hiding it. Inside every socially skilled person is a child, afraid of the world, afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. We're naturally tuned to seek social approval.

Which is where TRP comes in. Much to the dismay of every naysayer, TRP is not only about banging plates. You want to be better socially? Start by working on yourself. Do you even lift, bro? Get going. Start focusing on what YOU like (other than video games). Ever wonder about archery? Find a club or a range or even a mentor that's in to it. Do you cycle? Can you paint? Dance? Fight? Cook?

What activities like this are going to do is 1) Get your brain focused on something other than yourself or your awkwardness. 2) Give you ways to relate to others and things to talk about 3) Give you confidence in yourself so you don't give a fuck what others think, which is the key to relaxing socially.

I am my own man. I do what I want, which entails maintaining respect for those around me. Maintaining respect means I get to demand respect, also known as holding frame. I consider how I affect others but my priorities are the preservation of happiness, pleasure and the well being of myself and those I care about. I realize I am different than other people and it's ok. If people don't accept me, I understand it's because they have issues with their own self esteem. I make mistakes. I correct them and move on.

My point is, start developing what you believe in...what you appreciate and know in your heart is the right thing. Start implementing those things...the things you have no doubt would be pretty fucking cool to know, or do, or see. Start doing this shit right now. Don't wait.

The only other thing I would recommend for you is the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This is essentially the 101 on the subject and will teach you a totally new way of interacting socially. Start employing the techniques and watch what happens. Good luck.

Tauger3 · 2016-04-13T00:27:22+00:00

For starters you could not submit shitposts like this.

Title	How do I develop better social skills?
Author	way-it-is
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	April 12, 2016 11:45 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4eiwcb/how_do_i_develop_better_social_skills/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-develop-better-social-skills.163313 https://theredarchive.com/post/163313

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