So I'm a beta trying to escape being beta. There are many many things wrong with me. I'm struggling with depression and am suicidal.

This week took me down all the way. I'm at my lowest. And it's all because of a girl. Surprise, surprise...

Here is the kicker. I never talked to her in my life. Not ever once. I saw her once in a store and my friend was friends with her. Then I proceeded to look for her various social media profiles.

Like a very blue pilled boy I grew emotionally connected. Two days ago I got a text from my friend saying she was dating.

It happened on my lunch break. I had just started eating, looked at my phone and there was the text. I felt sick. I put away all my food and didn't eat for the next two days.

I have slept about 7 hours in the last two days. I finally forced myself to eat. I'm sick. Mentally and physically. I'm tired. I'm giving up.

Basically my question is this, if I survive this bout of whatever people call it, what can I do to bounce back? I know, I didn't do the right thing. I had onitis. I know. I screwed up. But how, if I survive, can I bounce back?

tl:dr Got attached to a girl, got oneitis, and am struggling to bounce back. What do I do?