Average genetics, no friends, never had a girl. I'm wanking all day to all kinds of porn. I eat to fill myself up not for hunger. I stay up all night. I sleep during the day. I "tried" doing things like eating better, waking up early, cutting porn and exercising but I always quit for whatever reason after few days or weeks. I don't feel like there is something wrong with my life. I feel like I'm okay with my life. Do I hate myself and somehow punishing myself? I think became desensitized to myself. I know how to get back on track with my life from the articles I've read on TRP but I don't take action. If I take action, it is inconsistent. I don't feel bad about myself. I don't feel good about myself. I'm not unhappy. Something is wrong with me. I am okay with everything. I would be okay with being in prison. I would accept my fate or is this because of beta conditioning? I don't know but my life is out of my control or I want my life to be this way. How can I understand that I am fucked up? I want to feel that my life sucks and work to change it.