How do I speak with more authority?

FirstnameLastnamePKA · 2017-05-17T00:25:26+00:00

Posture is half of a conversation; stand up straight and always look someone in the eye. More direct forms of speech, try not beating around any bushes for too long.

JFBhole · 2017-05-17T00:28:20+00:00

Two things:

Learn how to project your voice. People will respect your authority if you speak from your diaphragm.
Only speak when you really need to speak. If you speak super frequently and don't contribute substance to a conversation, people will tune you out.

Speaking from personal experience: I was 5'3" Freshman year and needed to shut the fuck up. Only when I grew, lifted, and learned how/when to speak did people really respect what I had to say.

Sl0wRideTakeItEasy · 2017-05-17T01:08:51+00:00

1) you're in high school, life's a bitch do your best. Reality doesn't apply.

2) I don't give a fuck about your height. I'm 6'2" and I couldn't care less that you are shorter than me. If you have something good to say I'll listen. The fact that you mentioned your height highlights your insecurity- fix your head. A good buddy of mine is 5'2"- I value his opinion above most of my other friends because he is one level headed guy. Height is only important in your head..

3) You are still in high school. You don't know shit. You won't for several more years. That's no problem. Speak loudly in topics that concern you, let the rest roll off. Realize that a decade from now (if you are an intelligent individual) you'll realize just how much you didn't know in high school.

Relax, enjoy life. You're just getting started

Pitchfork51 · 2017-05-17T00:35:41+00:00

Talk louder and more slowly. Let people digest what you are saying.

I've met a lot of people that start a sentence and start talking fast then kind of quiet down towards the end. It's really hard to understand and respond to.

My sister used to do this and I would give her a ton of shit.

remember_that_girl · 2017-05-17T03:55:43+00:00

Make sure you don't start with "sorry", "I don't know maybe it's just me but personally i think maybe", or other stuff like that. Maintain eye contact.

And yeah, high school is not real life. Rules don't apply here. Once you get out of there into the real world it will be easier.

username_1_1_1 · 2017-05-17T01:25:35+00:00

I just took some voice lessons. The big take aways for me were:

Opening the throat when you speak, as opposed to constricting it. It is quite common for us to constrict our muscles when we are exerting ourselves (like we do when we're trying to speak loudly). Constricting means you're forcing air through the vocal folds and its why you'll have a sore throat the next day after shouting in a bar all night. Opening the throat allows air to flow freely and you won't be straining your vocal chords.
Focus on really pronouncing those explosive consonants like P's, T's, K's, Ch's, etc.
Practice at home talking quite slowly and making sure to pronounce every syllable.
- Speak more slowly in general and maintain good posture.
Raise the key of your voice. I have a naturally low voice - a low E, apparently. My voice coach told me to raise that up to an A in loud situation, because higher voices carry better.

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2017-05-17T01:32:47+00:00

Cut out the stuff like "umm, uhh, and so you see, so like..."

Even if that means there's a couple seconds between your sentences.

When you speak a little slower, it makes you appear confident, and people will allow you to speak.

Also if I'm talking to only one person, I maintain eye contact. If I'm speaking to a group, then if possible I pace back and forth slowly so that their eyes follow me.

And for god's fucking sake don't put your hands in your pockets. Hands out, and preferably held above waist level, gesturing.

MattyAnon · 2017-05-17T16:02:11+00:00

Speak louder. Aim to be heard by someone standing behind the person.
Don't ask any questions. Phrase everything as a command. "Tell me the time" / "Tell me your age" / "Talk about your hopes and dreams". Make this a habit, especially with women.
Speak slower
Speak lower

And I end up repeating myself 2 or 3 times, just for them to give me a one word answer

Don't repeat yourself. If they don't hear the first time, drop it. Don't make it easy on them. Say "doesn't matter" and let them remain curious. They'll listen harder next time.

IBeMadToo · 2017-05-18T05:10:59+00:00

I was the same as you.

Only way I overcame it was more talking. I think my attitude before was because I thought people would judge me (anxiety): the way I sounded, looked, and the content of the conversation. I don't know why, I was just like that.

I just started to talk more and stopped giving a fuck about what others thought (or probably weren't even thinking to begin with). I learnt to project my voice better and avoid dropping volume, and using my hands in the conversation, I also keep solid eye contact with everyone - it is intimidating, but just keep contact and look away frequently if you feel weird - try not to look down or away TOO much as it is kinda weird when people do that, it shows you aren't confident.

Also, what do you mean it's hard to get the attention of people? Is this one to one conversation and they doze off? Or in a group setting? Or both?

[deleted] · 2017-05-19T01:35:01+00:00

One of the main things that you need to be aware of when you are speaking is not to speak from your mouth. Instead, it is vital that you implement your diaphragm and your "chest" voice. A quick test to see if you are speaking from your mouth: plug your noise and speak as you normally do. If you sound nasally/different, then you are not speaking from your chest/diaphragm.

How to fix this? When you breathe in, let your stomach expand and when you speak, let your gut tighten as you run out of air. If you do this, then your vocal chords will be more relaxed as a result of all of the tension being focused in your diaphragm. More relaxed vocal chords => more full and booming voice => more authoritative speaking. In addition, slow down when you speak because talking really fast implies that what you're saying is not important and you need to get it out as fast as possible for everybody to hear. When you speak slower, you are subconsciously telling others that what you are saying is valuable and are comfortable going at your own pace.

FailingBillionaire · 2017-05-17T00:46:15+00:00

Two steps:

Listen to something using earphones
Automatically you speak louder, so that you can hear yourself

Also the problem you have is a lack of respect that is only earned incrementally.

Title	How do I speak with more authority?
Author	goodvibesfromdylan
Upvotes	7
Comments	22
Date	May 17, 2017 12:15 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6blb47/how_do_i_speak_with_more_authority/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-speak-with-more-authority.91236 https://theredarchive.com/post/91236

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