Hello, I've been a lurker of this sub for a while and I just want to thank everyone who contributes to this sub as a whole.

This is a bit of a serious post, but my question essentially stems from personal encounters, mainly throughout my childhood (currently 17). I've always been a rather ignorant, arrogant and a rude person. An example is my relationship with my parents. I've ignored and refuted everything my parents have taught me, while I do not think my parents are the best role models in a lot of aspects, they do hold strong traditional asian values and a well defined moral compass which on most parts I agree, but I just refuse to listen to them. I am just so paranoid as being ignorant is impacting aspects of my life that I highly value such as academics and character development. I want to change so badly, there are so many aspects of my life I want to change but I just fucking can't and its so painful. Does any know any good references or books in the realm of psychology or philosophy that will aid me in this journey? While I'm only 17, it's so painful and I'm so scared of growing up and looking back and seeing no character development.

Once again, thank you so much redpill and the contributors to this subreddit.