How do I stop having these dreams?

sekerzitski · 2017-07-12T11:35:20+00:00

I haven't met any girls since then

That's a bingo.

You aren't "saving the pain", you don't want to exit comfort zone. Good news is even subconscious tells you you got to get out. Continue improving and add approaching.

wiredtobeweird · 2017-07-12T13:27:23+00:00

"guys that have stolen girls I'm into"

They didn't steal them. Your SMV was just lower. That's something entirely within your control. Get rid of your victim mentality and you'll go far.

GayLubeOil · 2017-07-12T20:12:11+00:00

You pushed these negative experiences down into your subconscious rather than of dealing with them properly and Integrating them into your world view.

What you need to understand is that what happened to you was normal, happens all the time and in fact is currently happening to men like yourself. It's a natural process like the seasons. It's not your fault that it's winter only that you didn't dress properly.

Peter_B_Long · 2017-07-12T12:35:32+00:00

meditate before you sleep so you can help clear your head.

You're holding yourself back by being a pussy and not approaching and gaming girls. Gaming other girls is part of the process of getting over your ex. you're just being a lazy pussy.

I broke up with my LTR of 5 years a month ago. Since then I've approached maybe a dozen chicks, got a number, made out with a chick at a bar, got rejected in front of all my co-workers at a club and I have a date set up for tonight. I still think about my ex and miss her and cried a few times, but I know that until I start spinning plates successfully, I'm not really going to be able to get over this chick. Quit being a bitch.

chachaChad · 2017-07-12T13:22:15+00:00

This isn't so much about the past but your fear of the future. You examining over and over again all the ways you failed and telling yourself that's how it's always going to be forever.

Get yourself out of your head. Hang out with guys and talk about it. Get into therapy. Build your life with things that keep you busy. Open girls... everywhere... do it for the practice.

dontbedenied · 2017-07-12T15:26:59+00:00

I'm going through something similar. I'm about 2.5 months out of my breakup. I'm more hung up on the guy my Ex was with before me. I've been having nightmare fantasies ever since the breakup that keep me awake at night, or that come up in the middle of the day when I'm not busy. I think part of it is I'm feeling all the stuff that I didn't want to think about during the relationship, i.e. how he could sexually please her in a way I never could.

As others have pointed out, it's essential to meet and go out with other women. The times I've been the least hung up on my Ex are those when I'm talking to and getting along well with another girl...it proves to myself that other women can be attracted to me.

Obviously also important to stay busy and hit the gym every day. Read often but don't use "Monk Mode" as an excuse to not try to pick up women, get numbers, etc.

I've been struggling a LOT with sleep too. Doing cognitive therapy exercises has helped a lot. We can change the way we think about our lives, our past and our relationships, which helps mold our emotions. Also doing meditation...changing your focus to your breath rather than traumatizing thoughts.

mrpthrowa · 2017-07-12T16:36:11+00:00

What are you eating 3-4 hours before sleep?

Love8Death · 2017-07-12T21:41:40+00:00

I don't think you should be in monk mode. Monk mode is for the fucks that are so fucked up that dating is just not a good idea for them. That's not you from how you seem.

You're using monk mode as a shield. Stop it.

bob13bob · 2017-07-12T23:41:04+00:00

get over you fear, toughen up and go out approach and get rejected. You have experience to see red flags earlier now.

Title	How do I stop having these dreams?
Author	MusicSports
Upvotes	3
Comments	37
Date	July 12, 2017 11:14 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6mt97b/how_do_i_stop_having_these_dreams/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-stop-having-these-dreams.94003 https://theredarchive.com/post/94003

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