How do I stop thinking about her?

Tudorai · 2014-05-01T07:50:32+00:00

You should never lament over what has happened. Regarding this PAST relationship: If you live in the past (thinking about things that happened, analyzing, and obsessing over) you will be miserable. If you live in the future (thinking about "will she come back" etc.) you will be forever anxious. You really need to live in the now. This doesn't mean you can't reflect, but you cannot obsess!

It is perfectly normal to think about a past relationship; every now and again I find myself dreaming about my first love (I'm 25 now, we broke up when I was 16). I wake up knowing that I will never see or talk to this person again in my life, the person who I (as a 14/15/16 year old) knew I would spend the rest of my life with. I look back fondly, but know, as I knew by the time I was 17, that it is over, and that I would need to move on with my life.

I'm sure that you two had great memories, but that time is over. You can regard your experience as the high point of your life and think about it until the day you die, or you can view it as what it is and that is a wonderful chapter (the ending is never wonderful) in a series of different and exciting relationships in which you grow and develop into the man who will one day get on his knee and ask a woman to marry him, a man who will one day watch his wife (or S.O.) give birth to his child (-ren), a man who will have a family and grow old with his spouse and watch his kids grow up and become functioning members of society.

I think in short what I mean to say is that there is so much to life, there is so much you will experience and do, and although it may not seem like it at the moment, you will recover. This takes time, but you will date again, you will find the right one, and you will be happy. Trust me on this, I've been there more than once.

Us guys, we have this odd capacity to be blindsided by love (although it is not what the media portrays). You just need to accept your situation, center yourself, and put yourself back on the market.

Not to sound like a fag or nothing (Orgazmo reference), but from your list you sound like a well rounded (although perhaps a little obsessive at this point) guy, and I'm sure there are going to plenty of girls who will deem you to be a good companion. Try and take your time before falling in love though. You'll be just fine.

Anyways, I feel as if my monologue has gone on a little too long. Keep your head up buddy.

All the best

Very_Naive_Girl · 2014-05-01T07:48:30+00:00

YOU broke up with her?

[deleted] · 2014-05-01T14:56:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Manmore · 2014-05-01T11:01:15+00:00

Get more girls - it's the only solution

Movonnow · 2014-05-01T09:56:09+00:00

STOP BEING SO FUCKING PATHETIC AND BETA!

This is fucking TRP not kindergarden, stop crying like a little bitch and do the work.

Title	How do I stop thinking about her?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	May 1, 2014 7:34 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/24fut6/how_do_i_stop_thinking_about_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-stop-thinking-about-her.139611 https://theredarchive.com/post/139611

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