How do you? I am still young but already feel like messed up myself. This is because I dislike myself alot because of the ways I have acted in social situations. Not awkwardly but not doing what I wanted to. Not standing up for myself. Not having a group of friends who I could have fun with.

But mostly because of not standing up for myself. And because I want to have that 'dont give a fuck' attitude I have at home in social situations.

But somehow I always end up imagining the possible consequences if I were to somehow get in a fight. Since I dont have a group I wont have anyone to back me and etc., It's all been in my head for what like 3 years. And the thoughts became more intense during this time and I became even more messed up and because of those thoughts it's made me even more difficult to talk with others.

All I want to do is kick ass have fun and do what I want.