How do you control urges while working on yourself?

ChadsGrandfather · 2021-01-10T09:41:56+00:00

The urges never go away so long as you’re a healthy male. So you have to learn to live with them and to channel those energies to help you reach your goals. Use them for working out, getting money, having adventures and being fun. Don’t be a weirdo who’s afraid of his own sexuality. Embrace it. Be a man.

You stopped working out after you got with her not realizing that working out is what made you attractive enough to get you in the door. Now you know better this time around.

This is the importance of plates now that you lost the one you had you’re alone with your dick in your hand. Always keep working on a few even when you have a consistent one because if one falls off you still have options. This is not about getting a girlfriend. if you’re not trying to get married or have kids and you don’t own a home and have cash that could sustain you and a family for years what is the point of having a girlfriend? You’re not in the position for that responsibility and even if you were you’re still young as shit. Drive slow. Be lighthearted and casual with these girls look what happened with this one you got off easy no break up or kids involved. Chill out homie.

Pick up/tinder is not a waste don’t talk yourself out of talking to girls. This is the type of mentality that got you here to begin with. Don’t be a bitch and if you see a hot girl that interests you or is giving you signals of interest say hello and go for the number if it goes well.

Thekokkksucker84 · 2021-01-10T14:12:01+00:00

Never give up lifting. That shit is necessary.

Revolutionary_Fan733 · 2021-01-10T15:00:02+00:00

You made one major mistake my friend, you cared more about something besides yourself. You are always numero uno never fucking forget that the minute you do she’ll notice, the world will notice and even worse your life will notice.

You you you, you should love yourself more than anything.

Thinkingard · 2021-01-10T14:11:16+00:00

Sounds like she was the typical chick who gives you tons of sex the way you want it to lock you down, but then it broke down when you lost your way, or she lost attraction to you because of the oneitus. She would have been the type to stop sex right after marriage and you'd be wondering what happened to her sex drive (if you were bluepilled).

You have to remind yourself of your mission. Stick to the plan. Keep the success grind going so future you has it even better. I also like to remind myself: If I suddenly caught up with an old friend, would I be telling him a story of my awesome life, or would I end up revealing what a loser and punk I'd always been and still am.

jn14j · 2021-01-10T14:39:40+00:00

Obviously, porn is out of the question, but I would tend to say don't avoid masturbation altogether. Limit it to once a week, maybe give yourself a few more if you are in a competitive environment with lots of girls. Social media will make it almost impossible to control urges in my experience, so I go without it.

I used to do Nofap but would just get caught in vicious cycles of relapsing back to insane binges, and found that some kind of middle ground was better.

Red_Vet_Garageman · 2021-01-10T20:03:59+00:00

Never stop lifting. Take this as a lesson and get back to where you were.

Never stop dating and plating. I am busy as fuck as well. I'm in an open LTR (on my end) and limit time spent to once or twice a week. I just don't have time to see her more than that. Yes it's fun fucking her but there are other women who will come over to fuck if you fuck good enough and look good enough (the gym).

They will try to break you and your successful habits. (Ex: "Do you really need to work out today...spend your whole Saturday with me instead"). Once your back in your frame of work, gym, and fuck, she will know it's a privilege to see you.

I personally don't believe in monk mode. I use online dating and also make a point to hit on bitches when I go out.

My hobbies keep bitches rotating in and out of my life. House parties, paddle boarding, gym, and dating all funnel in potential prospects in my life.

Sex is cheap and easy for a bitch to give you. You need to make her invest something real. Mine invests time and money, 2/3rds rule applies. For every 3 things she offers you, offer her 2 in return.

Don't get attached to something your not willing to walk away from in 30 seconds or less. I don't speak these things, I do these things. Keep the bitches guessing.

Ok so no time to date? Tinder dates to a local bar, 30 mins tops investment. 1 drink or two. You pay for first round of she's on time if she's late she buys first round. Split rounds after that. 2 drinks tops. Invite to your place for a nightcap after. If she declines that's fine go home and get ready for the next day. Invite her to your place for dinner the second date. if you don't fuck that date then one more shot, invite to your place to watch the game or a new show. Not on a Friday or Saturday night. Those nights are for first time meet ups or for my rotation girls.

Hope these help stay in there man

319Skew · 2021-01-10T15:09:24+00:00

Abundance and discipline.

Abundance helps you realize that there are plenty of women out there. So while she may let you dress up like Ronald McDonald and yell racial obscenities while you climax, once you take her off that pedestal, you'll realize that there are tons of others and there's nothing special about her.

Discipline is pretty self descriptive. If you don't commit to sticking to your goals when it's hard, you'll take longer to get there.

It's all mental.

Jay-G · 2021-01-10T15:34:20+00:00

If you were fucking multiple women, this wouldn’t be a problem

light-----------dark · 2021-01-10T18:42:01+00:00

You transmute your urges into helping you lift heavy shit, surpass your goals, and be the best man you can be.

Terminal-Psychosis · 2021-01-10T21:58:46+00:00

If ya wanna get laid (and who doesn't?) you're gonna have to put yourself out there. Yah it takes energy, but how much depends on how high you want to set the bar.

Give a gift to some 5/10's now n then and clean the tubes. Less chance of getting oneitis, easy sex, and not as much hastle.

Or make time to land higher quality chicks. Not really sure what the question is. Ignoring sexual needs isn't really an option.

I suppose you could train yourself to be a eunuch, but that sounds very unhealthy, especially if you ever want to have anything to do with women again.

AshyLarry27 · 2021-01-10T13:31:26+00:00

Would highly recommend David Goggin's new "Can't Hurt Me" book that covers this stuff well. You need to look at your goals, and remind yourself WHY you're doing what you are doing. This should help reinvigorate the energy. Snowball effects is good too: When you are bored, do something productive like clean your desk and it will snowball into other projects.

Finally, limit obstacles, that is the biggest killer or productivity and staying the course. This one psychologist I was listening to talk about how mental barriers can deride us from our productive habits, so we have to reduce those barriers. Her example was how she wanted to go running in the morning, but when she woke up she would rationalize that way with "all this time I need to spend getting the kids ready and making them breakfast." So what she did was fall asleep in her running gear, so when she woke up she just put her shoes on and took off before the mental BS excuses began to run up.

rp-snatchyahoe · 2021-01-10T14:37:52+00:00

Found myself in the exact same situation, been wanting to go monk mode after blowing my one shot at settling down on a narcissistic broken person, but a man has needs and shutting out women won't make me deal with the next one trying to tie me down any better.

Embrace the low-hanging fruit, man. Be it Tinder, Pickup, other online shit... It's not work at all and you'll get laid, freeing your mind up for what's important.

throw-away-1709 · 2021-01-10T11:26:28+00:00

Cause for oneitis (blablabla).... ... ... Cure? ... ... Get rid of feellzzzz...

Title	How do you control urges while working on yourself?
Author	redpill4me007
Upvotes	77
Comments	54
Date	January 10, 2021 8:50 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/kub0nq/how_do_you_control_urges_while_working_on_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-control-urges-while-working-on-yourself.752935 https://theredarchive.com/post/752935

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