How do you know how to set boundaries?

fannyfire · 2020-04-15T15:18:31+00:00

The problem you have is an outcome dependence. You want the perfect scenario and every green light to open. The best way to learn is to fail. Quit acting like every girl is the next LTR or wife. When you do this, you don’t need to calculate the “correct move.” You just do and let the motion of the ocean take you where it goes.

Having that mindset means you DGAF. Women are more attracted to guys who don’t give a fuck because then they can see that you’re a badass who doesn’t give a shit. Some girls are going to hate you. Daddy and mommy gave them everything. Past boyfriends and orbiters were perfect simps and now you’re fucking her good time up. She may decide to leave you because she can’t submit.

That’s okay. It’s all okay. New girls turn 18 every day. Everyone is replaceable, even you. Just have fun. Don’t be autistic but don’t be a push over. Just do you and don’t give a fuck. I’m married and about to be going into my sixth year and I still don’t give a fuck. I look better than we met, I make more money and I get IOI from other women alone and with her. I don’t have to be on my best behavior and no man ever should. Your energy should naturally dread her to where she would forgive or forget, even if you fucked up. You must care less than they do and if you don’t then she will grow to resent and hate you. The only way to do that is to take her down from the pedestal and realize she is not a unicorn.

alphakari · 2020-04-15T03:02:00+00:00

Cultivate an admiration for order well-crafted.

Project_Zero_Betas · 2020-04-15T03:13:16+00:00

It's not possible to walk away from every relationship or friendship when it comes to disrespect right

So wrong. This is only the case when you don't respect yourself.

RPOpenUp · 2020-04-15T11:38:35+00:00

Read Men in love and Women in love on the sidebar

jealousmelon · 2020-04-15T01:52:23+00:00

It's not possible to walk away from every relationship or friendship when it comes to disrespect right

It is possible. Why would you ever want to feel not respected exactly?

What I'm struggling with is to make sure, when you withdraw attention or don't say anything back or don't talk back (like your girl is yelling at you and you don't talk back), how do you ensure they don't see this as nice-guy behavior and you're not treated like a doormat?

Withdrawing is never being a doormat, because it shows that you are not easily attached and you have abundance. If this friend/girl doesn't work, I can easily find someone else and so on (even if that is not true at the moment).

How do you maintain boundaries with a girl or with a guy friend who do something you don't like? Because just ignoring what they did can seem like you're coming off as a nice guy doormat

Don't ignore everything. You know what they say, reward good behavior, penalize bad one. Withdrawing attention is a good punishment, because if the other person cares about you, they will see that they did something wrong and will try to change something about themselves. If they don't, fuck them and leave them be. Also you can talk about these things, people who care will change.

I think the biggest issue people have when it comes to their mentality is they lack abundance. Imagine if you leave ALL of your relationships behind, friends, family, girls, whatever. Let's assume you would do that because you don't like anyone of them, they don't improve your life, you are not satisfied with them. Could you do something like that? Probably not. But you should be able to. Even if it means losing all relationships, you have to keep in mind that you should focus on building ones that are good for you, I have some friends that I don't have almost any boundaries set up with, because they are good people, I don't have to play a game with them. Finding quality people is the top priority, but even then some boundaries are needed, so once again, in the beginning you can ignore, if it becomes annoying: penalize. Withdraw attention or talk about it. There is no point in living a life for people that make you unhappy.

And again, abundance. Even if you are not able to meet new people for whatever reason, you have to think like you can. You have to imagine that you are a person that can form new relationships which can work well for you. That is all in your mind but it is essential to avoid being attached and needy.

holy_shroom · 2020-04-15T04:24:57+00:00

it depends on how you define "disrespect". if i am being treated like sht with a woman, job, friend or anything in that matter. i walk and never look back. what im i suppose to do, just sit there and take their abuse? not me, i rather be alone. cya later! they can go make somebody esles life miserable - not mine. its more of a mindset than anything. am i suppose to just sit in a room i dont want to be in and complain or grow a pair and leave? growing a spine isnt about others. its about yourself. your peace of mind. i rather be alone than deal with a bunch of arseholes who make my life miserable is what it all boils down to.

are you going to stay in a toxic relationship with a woman just for the sake of it? not me bye! a peace of mind doesnt have a price.

HurricaneHugues · 2020-04-15T07:34:15+00:00

Boundaries mean having self respect. There's a certain level of disrespect that you should never tolerate, not even once. You must always be willing to walk away from people for good. Don't mistake soft nesting for pouting. Certain lines people should never cross. Those lines will depend on who you are and how much respect you expect from others. If you're not getting the resort you believe you deserve, drop them. Don't give second chances. If you're afraid of dropping girls and "friends", then you don't respect yourself. When people act up, I drop em. Life's too short.

Title	How do you know how to set boundaries?
Author	tellemits
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	April 15, 2020 1:28 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/g1idd8/how_do_you_know_how_to_set_boundaries/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-know-how-to-set-boundaries.653540 https://theredarchive.com/post/653540

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