How do you make people seek your validation?

aguycalledron · 2017-06-06T04:27:11+00:00

This one is easy. Be around people.

Let's check what people crave:

1) Food

2) Water

3) Sleep

4) Sexual gratification

5) Validation / feeling of importance

StannisBa · 2017-06-06T04:26:53+00:00

Be in a position of authority relative to them

Metalageddon · 2017-06-06T11:56:50+00:00

You are what people see in you and want.

So:

Build your value. This is fundamental.

lift
do exciting shit
get money
have a solid set of goals
be happy to walk from a bad deal. Like, actually happy. It's saving you time.
learn how to ice break and keep yourself around people for social proof.
specialize to the point of advanced or mastery in things that set you apart.
don't give freely unless from abundance, and even then selfish charity only.

Yeah the core is really freaking simple but you have to work. You must work and practice and fail and improve and constantly be adding value to yourself. Specifically value others want.

mr_dannyocean · 2017-06-06T08:19:22+00:00

If you haven't already bought 48 Laws of Power, do it. Then read law 16 ('Use Absence To Increase Respect & Honor').

Be scarce, don't give people too much of your spare time. But when you're around them, make sure your presence is felt. Engage people with a jovial attitude, be cheeky and an overall source of fun (without being a clown). Focus attention on others in very flattering ways in small, yet intoxicating doses. Always leave them wanting more so they the feel like making you stay next time.

This is the basic idea of being charming. If you get good at it, you'll get women AND MEN falling over themselves to get your validation.

FocusOnYourGoals · Tue Jun 6 11:47:30 2017 UTC

One of the moments I figured out validation seeking was when I was talking to a girl and watched her attitude flip 180 degrees due to the way I maintained my frame.

I was talking to this girl who I had just met. We were talking about vacations, as the college semester was almost over. I ask when she would be free. She replies with "Oh I don't think I'm going to have any vacations, I have to go pretty much every exam" and laughs.

Now in her frame and from what I've seen in the majority of young people's frame being careless with your college degree is funny and expected. In my frame, that's called being a loser.

I looked her dead in the eye and said "Hmm, you don't look like the type of person to be careless with your studies."

I then heard a story about how her teacher was a bitch and didn't let her turn in a project, that that was the reason why she would have no vacations, that she "isn't really like that".

In other words, I shaped reality with my frame and made her adjust to it. In a matter of seconds, she completely flipped her attitude to meet my reality.

TL;DR: Frame first, everything else second. In order to make her seek your validation you must threaten her value in your frame. Make her fight to acquire value in your eyes. Girls are super worried what perception other people have of them. Do it genuinely and sparingly.

CuntyMcFagNuts69 · 2017-06-06T14:20:30+00:00

Read How to Win Friends and Influence People. Helped me journey so much

Title	How do you make people seek your validation?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	June 6, 2017 4:06 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6fjgwa/how_do_you_make_people_seek_your_validation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-make-people-seek-your-validation.180760 https://theredarchive.com/post/180760

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