How much effort do you put forward? Do you still escalate when they are not giving you vibes?

stickfiguresk · 2015-10-04T02:40:19+00:00

The hammer approach works best--i.e. if theres any impression at all that she's interested, pull the trigger immediately.

Women don't ask men out. And when they do, there's a reason she's being so bold, and that reason is usually because you can do better.

Women really do, "just let it happen." Which means men do all the work. Usually, when a woman wants a man(and there isn't a huge SMV disparity), she just makes herself as available and attractive as possible, that's why there's been a meme about men not taking "hints" forever.

She'll mention how she's available at x time, or how she'd like to do an activity, or she'll try to do a same time/same place thing that you'll be able to escalate.

Why women do this, I'm not entirely sure. Of course they're just being passive, because women are like objects(for men), but I'm torn on it either being from their massive fucking egos(they have to be chased, "I'm the best object!") or because they're just cowards. It's probably some combination of the two, though.

As for what to do with them, it depends on the woman. Either she wants "no pressure", or she wants the prestige of being courted, which are two completely different things. It's usually best to avoid the ones that want to be courted (though they all say they want to be courted because only 10s are secure enough to be straight forward) because they've probably hit the wall and they want you to sponsor their good time.

M3_Drifter · 2015-10-04T05:54:28+00:00

For example do women expect you to do all the work in terms of initiating everything?

Generally, yes. They want a leader who knows what he wants, not a passive loser.

I feel like I may be "creeping" if I am the only one initiating contact.

If you initiate contact repeatedly with no answer or cold responses, then yes, you are creeping. Otherwise, don't worry about it.

Do women not like "let's get lunch sometime" vs dinner you me.. Tonight?

If you like a person, do you like hanging out whenever, or do you only want to do certain things? Don't make first dates fancy. You need to be able to split easily if you don't like her. Go for juice, coffee, ice cream, shit like that.

I guess what I am asking is how much do you put out on the line?

Ehh... I invest some time in meeting potentially interesting people? "put on the line" seems like you feel there is potentially some inherent risk in dating. As long as you don't expose yourself to potential rape accusations and cover up against STDs and pregnancy, the danger seems imaginary. If you try to kiss her and she doesn't want to (at that moment), she'll shy away, not call the police.

smokingmonkey420 · 2015-10-04T08:09:46+00:00

I've found that you almost always have to initiate the conversation, but after that you can literally sit back and listen to her ramble on and on. Then, you have to close.

3 steps.

initiate
build attraction/comfort
close

That's how it works.

Title	How much effort do you put forward? Do you still escalate when they are not giving you vibes?
Author	plasticslug
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	October 4, 2015 2:19 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3neswt/how_much_effort_do_you_put_forward_do_you_still/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-much-effort-do-you-put-forward-do-you-still.154698 https://theredarchive.com/post/154698

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