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[–]thiasus4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Life improvement is not about not having problems, it's about choosing a better class of problem to have.
Reading too much is a better class of problem than playing too many video games. Having too much free time is a better class of problem than wasting all your time on junk activities.
When you start to fill up your life with valuable pursuits you'll discover you don't nearly have as much free time as you think. When your house is in top shape, you are training hard, you are reading good books, you are pursuing personal improvement by learning new skills and engaging in interesting hobbies, the hours tick away very fast.
This is also the time to do something about your depression and suicidal thoughts. You can do that in parallel to everything else. Exercise in particular is provably beneficial, but you most likely need therapy. I'm personally a big fan of psychoanalysis (yes, the Freudian thing where they ask you if you shat your pants a lot as a child, or at least that's the stereotype) because it doesn't seek to 'fix' you but to help you discover and understand the reasons why you are feeling some way.
[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points 10 years ago | Copy Link
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[–]thiasus0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I paid $100 per session, one session per week. There were both significantly less and significantly more expensive options. If you tend to be hyper-rational like me, and from the way you write I think you do, it's absolutely invaluable and the exact opposite of the wishy-washy psychobabble bullshit you might have heard about psychology in general.
[–]thiasus0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's exactly how I felt with a regular therapist. I sat in her office chair, complained about my life and she patted me on the back and told me all the reasons why I shouldn't feel this bad.
With an analyst, you don't go there to solve an issue, you go there to understand it. You are made to bring out the deep psychological underpinnings of it, and you come out understanding exactly why you have this problem.
Give it a try. Facing the possibility of not liking a therapist is a better class of problem than having suicidal thoughts.
[–]agoodresponse 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Delete all social media.
You don't need to know what people are doing, and people don't need to know what you're doing.
[–]MeatCurtainRod1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Get off ALL electronics. Leave your phone at home, in a specific room that you don't use all that often. Hell, change your plan to a non-data plan. If someone calls, you, big deal, they will leave a voice message if it is serious. There was a world that existed 20 years ago, when cell phones were a dream. Explore the outside world and nature.
As for your free time, take up as many manly hobbies as you see fit and enjoy. Set some goals.
And MOST importantly, change the view of yourself. You say you are good at getting laid and are attractive. Obviously not as something isn't working here.
[–] points points points 56 years ago | Copy Link
[–]MeatCurtainRod0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I need to be able to respond to email and phone calls in a timely manner
No you don't. Stop kidding yourself. This isn't an adult responsibility. This is called an addiction, and it is routed in childish need for instant gratification, attention, and peer approval. Just unplug, because you have too many excuses. That is the fundamental element for monk mode, and everyone is different. Obviously you are holding on to something toxic. If you don't let it go, then you are wasting your time trying to do a half-assed monk mode which will ultimately fail.
Why the insult? That wasn't a lie.
I'm not insulting you. I have no idea how you came to this conclusion. My point is that there must be a reason why you want to go into monk mode. There must be a reason or two, on why you feel the way you feel. Perhaps your actions as you are, are not producing expected results. Logically speaking, wouldn't you want to change yourself so that the results are different? Saying you are 'the dog', but then in the same sentence say that you need to go into monk mode, plainly says you are delusional and in fact NOT 'the dog'. Perception is reality, so it isn't the end of the world. Just be open to change.
[–]MeatCurtainRod0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't know my life.
Really?!? Really? You're gonna resort to the typical jerry springer response of 'you don't know me"? Excuses. All I hear are whiny excuses. You can only help yourself. Either you want it or you don't. Obviously you don't.
FYI: the difference between a man and a boy, is someone who buckles down and gets shit done knowing he needs to change, versus one who complains until someone else does it for them, thinking the world needs to change to suit him.
[–]DarkisKnight1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Suicidal thoughts are nothing to take lightly. I've coped with depression on and off for years myself so I can relate. If you're suicidal this article was one thing that really helped me pull myself out of the despair I was feeling: http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/05/06/how-to-commit-suicide/
If you're having suicidal thoughts consider calling the hotline in the article above.
In addition to that, this book (a short read) was to date the most helpful thing I've tried: "The Depression Cure." The protocol is easy enough to implement and it's helpful to know that there are things you can start doing that are stupidly simple to implement that achieve big results. It can be really difficult to just do one thing in a day so it's helpful to know that if you do only accomplish one thing or a few things that you're getting the most bang for you buck. Rather than flailing around blindly having a concrete plan and gaining momentum are your allies.
YMMV of course, I can only offer what has been helpful to me.
Feel free to PM me. I've been there (pretty recently actually) and am willing to offer whatever help I can.
[–]keepyourkeys 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exercise everyday within the first 90 minutes of getting up.
Have breakfast everday. No Food? Go shopping.
Force yourself to go out for no reason. Go to "The bookstore"
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