I enter into an LTR without intention, and it's been a while for now mainly due to the lock down of universities around during the quarantine, and I was busy focusing on something that I really don't want to spare any attention on spinning other plates.

Now, this girl is OK for me. However, I did spend some time straightening her out. Now we are actually having a good time living in together. I am not sure about your place, but we don't have any legal obligation here.

Current status of our relationship.

  1. She cooks me dinner (if she is going to eat as well) and I will do the dishes. Namely, we spare the housework, and she is doing it a bit more.
  2. She is offering a steady sex every day without feeling obligation. The quality is still good.
  3. And she is paying for the food, and I am paying the rent for my apartment which I already lived in before we are together. I rarely buy her any gifts or gave her any money.
  4. We occasionally have some arguments, and she has basically been straightened out that we have mutual understanding how to solve those problems. She is the one basically doing the concession and change, so I think I am controlling the frame.
  5. She is not putting any pressure of marriage on me. She accepts that I am not going to provide any financial security for her. If she is doing something for me, I will pay her the market price, not anything else, even if we are having kids.

I don't know if I am strictly following the rule that the girl should invest more than me, but I can say we are basically equal in terms of investments and I don't mind it much if I am losing a bit.

Now. The universities are back on and I have time to spin plates now. So I am in a quandary. I have several options:

  1. Break up with her, and she will probably go back to her hometown.
  2. Spin plates behind her back. Namely, cheat.
  3. Spin plates overtly. Try to talk about it with her and get an agreement.
  4. Stick to the LTR.

Now, I have some concerns:

  1. I know I am going to spin more plates sooner or later.
  2. My time invested in her to straighten her out. Not too much time but still an effort, thus, sunk cost.
  3. Some emotional attachment and enjoying some stability.
  4. She seems into me and she has investments as well. She moved into my place from her hometown after graduated from her university and giving up some career opportunities for me. I was basically making the most self-serving decisions until now, so I think that doesn't strictly count for investment.
  5. If I don't break up with her now, she may miss her SMV peak and blame me if I abandon her in the future. Worse, keeping this LTR may not even serve my best interest right now. It may be a lose-lose situation.
  6. She can provide me more margin for stability with minimum cost in case I don't have any time to go out for dates or spin plates.
  7. I might be affected by internal beta, scarcity mindset and fear of disruption, thus, not making the best decision.
  8. I want to be a person who keeps his words, transparent, up-front and let other people make knowing decisions. It's not about women, but it's my general principle. Many people trust me because of that, I don't want to disrupt it.

Do you have any idea how I should make the decision? Or what's the problem with me? I will be happy to know that if I am trapped in beta mindset.

Thanks.