Hey guys,

I'm really having a hard time with this aspect of my life.

I come from a family view which is to be polite and be respectful to strangers. But sometimes, I'm met with disrespect which confuses me very much.

I'm crossing a stage where I used to let a lot of things go such as 'subtle disrespect' or when people would treat me with disrespect. I used to let it go as I didn't want to be seen as 'sensitive' or 'having a sense of humor'.

Now mind you, this doesn't happen all the time. But there are times when it does happen.

Here are 3 scenarios that happened.

  1. At my work Guy 1: Yo Tom, go get me some Pizza. Me: Nah, I can't right now. Guy 2: Yeah you can, you're not even doing anything. Me: I don't really care, I'm not getting any pizza. Go get it yourself. Guy 1: Oh shit, Tom getting upset. Guy 2: Quit being so sensitive Tom. Me: I'm not being sensitive, and I'm not getting you any Pizza. Go fuck yourself. Guy 1: Shit, I don't know where you getting your attitude from but you not gonna do that to me. Keep having that type of anger, someone gonna beat the fuck out of you one day. Me: Shit, I don't know about all that. But I do know it won't be you that's gonna be touching me. Guy 2: (LAUGHS) Tom, you were bullied when you were little weren't you? That's why you're so sensitive.

And continues. This scenario, I fully escalated, and they backed down.

  1. At my gym So at the gym, I was pretty friendly with the receptionist who's a male. I always work out around midnight. I noticed in the beginning, he was very friendly and accommodating.

In the beginning

Me: What up David! Receptionist: Yo! How are ya man?

But as time went on, he started treating me like I was lower than him. I felt it in my body. I'm very aware when someone treats me like I'm below them some how.

Entering Me (Walking into the gym): Hey David, how are ya? Receptionist (Doesn't even look at me): Ignores. Me (That was weird): I just check in and proceed to my work out.

Leaving Receptionist: On his phone Me: Alright Dave, see you later. Receptionist: (Doesn't even look. Doesn't acknowledge. Continues staring at his phone)

(This happened in a span of a month. I go everyday, and the way he treated me started annoying me not to say the least)

But I didn't say anything.

At the end of the month, I was trying to see my BMI and measure it to see how much my figure changed. And I ask Dave for some help

Me: Yo Dave, do you guys have those scales for measuring BMI? Receptionist: (Without even looking) Just go check over there at the cabinets man. It should be there. Me: (I just start looking at him and start getting annoyed) Receptionist: If it's not there we don't have it. Me: (I don't make it a big deal) And I just go and measure it.

But this annoyance was really starting to build up.

Last night, I finally blew up.

I go into the gym to check in, and he's talking to a new lady. I had my headphones on and by this time, I just stopped acknowledging or trying to interact with him. Usually I just put in my ID, and proceed to workout.

Apparently, when I was entering my ID, it was the wrong one. He proceeds to snap his fingers at me and say "Ey, go over there. Use that one"

This is where I brought it up.

Me: "The fuck you mean go over there? The fuck you snapping your fingers at me for?" Receptionist: "Oh I was just trying to get your attention" Me: "I don't give a fuck. That's fucking disrespectful. I worked in customer service to know not to snap at people" Receptionist: (Looks at me kind of stunned) Alright whatever.

Now, today I went back in.

I just said "Sup", kept it short, and went to work out.

  1. I rent out a room over here. I promised myself a semester of non-stop study to get my degree.

However, there's my housemate's younger brother who visits very frequently. He's about in his 40's.

In the beginning, it seemed innocent. Lets call him Jason.

Meeting #1 Jason: Wow Tom, you got a very.. creative haircut. Me: Oh thanks man, I like the look. Jason: Yeah, that's uh.. very cool.

Meeting #2 (I comeback home) Jason: Oh look! It's the mr.handsome man Tom! Me: How are ya? (Smile) And go about my day.

This is where I started noticing something off on the third day.

Meeting #3 Visits another day Jason: DAMNNNN, It's Mr.Handsome the Tom. How are ya? Me: I'm doing good man, thanks for asking Jason: Damn man. How old are you? Me: I'm 23, you? Jason: Shit, what are you doing in the house? You should be getting all the ladies. (sarcastically) Me: Uh, I relocated to focus on my studies for this semester. I promised myself no social activity for a bit. Jason: Omg man, you should be pulling all the ladies with your type of look.

(I always felt this sarcasm undertone like he was trying to 'tool' me)

It was annoying cause this guy had 3 kids, and a father figure. I just couldn't comprehend what would make this man mess with me? I was 23 and really focusing on my studies and busting my ass for the semester. So I also started getting really angry.

Whenever he started coming over, I would find myself getting defensive.

Jason: No girlfriend yet? Me: Nah. Jason: Come on man, do you need me to teach you? Me: Okay, you got a fucking problem? The fuck is wrong with you? Jason: Yo, calm down. It's just a joke. Me: Joke with me again. I'll fuck you up right now as a joke. Jason: Yo chill, I don't mean any harm

(Ever since than he doesn't even acknowledge me when he comes over and ignores me)

  1. A classmate. (It started off small)

Classmate: Ey yo, what up dawg? Me: (Did he just call me dawg? Probably just some social faux) Sup man?

Classmate: Ey SHAQ, what up dawg? Me: (Taken off guard) What did you call me? Lmao. I start laughing. (it was funny at the time)

Classmate: Ey shaQ, when you gonna bring me some chicken? Me: (Over here, he was starting to offend me) What did you say? Classmate: Bring me some chicken. Me: Go fuck yourself. The fuck you being racist for? Classmate: Man quit being sensitive and learn to take a joke. You're being insecure.

Now mind you, when these happens, it's always when I'm first getting to know someone. They seem to treat me either as below them or disrespect until I explode.

It's starting to get really annoying.

Anyone willing to give me some feedback on these situations?

I feel that my boundaries should me when I start feeling uncomfortable. And when it built up, I just go nuclear in a sense that I make sure they never fuck with me again.

Sometimes it does seem like I'm 'over-reacting' but I also noticed that if I don't do anything, it just gets worse and worse.

Am I over-reacting? Also, how should I be addressing these situations?