How to be nice/kind without being Beta?

vandaalen · 2014-08-14T20:43:17+00:00

The only difference is that you must always be righteous about what you are doing.

Somebody asks you to help him moving? Why would you say yes and why no? Do you feel obliged to do it, or do you do not mind helping because he's a genuine friend who would do (or has done) the same for you?

Or is it some bitch and you hope to be able to sneak into her panties by being nice?

Do you want to help at all or are you like me and pay a moving service company when moving yourself to do it because you hate moving and also wouldn't help anybody else because of this?

If you haven't already, then read No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Gold_Leaf_Initiative · 2014-08-14T21:30:26+00:00

When you're strong, you can be kind out of generosity.

When you're weak, you can be kind out of fear.

If it comes from the right frame, it will be in your favor.

alisonstone · 2014-08-14T20:53:23+00:00

Niceness and kindness are qualities that other people assign to your actions. It is not something that is inherent in the action itself. Have you notice how many hot girls cannot do anything wrong? No matter what they do, they are praised for it. That happens for alpha males too. If a guy is alpha, no matter what he does, people assign good qualities to it. If a guy is beta, no matter what he does, it is creepy/rapey.

It's like the old "Be Handsome, Be Attractive, Don't Be Unattractive" meme, it doesn't matter what you do, it will be interpreted positively. It is like that Jimmy Kimmel prank where he asks teenage girls stuff like "What do you think about Justin Bieber running over an old lady with his car?" (it's completely made up), and the girls would be like "It's not his fault, the old lady shouldn't have run into the road".

This is why it is beta if you perform actions that you think will cause people to assign niceness/kindness to you. Because it actually has little to do with the action itself. If you want people to think you are nice, lift weights and dress well. Be handsome, be attractive, don't be unattractive. Then suddenly, just the act of smiling and speaking to someone will be regarded as kind and nice.

TDCRedPill · 2014-08-14T21:24:09+00:00

Nice actions can be alpha or beta. The main distinction is how they affect people's view of you. You can be alpha and plenty nice; the world needs more of them. Nice just shows niceness, which is good for everyone. But if those nice acts display supplication, low confidence, or any other negative traits, don't do it. If they should positive traits, like command, passion, purpose, or any other positive traits, it's pretty alpha and recommended. We're telling you to not cut YOUR European trip short so the woman who broke up with you can whore through the continent with her mother ON YOUR DIME. We're not saying forget your GF's birthday (well, usually, but only with very sufficient cause).

But sadly, alisonstone is right; look good, and you actually get free nice without even having to try.

SFofallplaces · 2014-08-15T07:39:48+00:00

Think of Daniel Craig’s James Bond. Dude will stand up when a lady enters, but he commands frame at all times.

byronshadow · 2014-08-15T17:14:22+00:00

As long as you're maintaining a mysterious air and not rewarding bad behavior, feel free to do nice things. You'll find that seemingly minor masculine gestures like draping your jacket over her shoulders are better received than any number of beta rituals(PDAs, baby-talk, flowers sent to her work).

Gifts should be spontaneous and inexpensive. Avoid apology/supplication gestures and expensive or outlandish gifts.

mudra311 · 2014-08-14T22:04:23+00:00

As a general rule of thumb, I perform kind gestures but am generally an asshole when I talk to people.

Title	How to be nice/kind without being Beta?
Author	BaeCaughtMeJackinOff
Upvotes	2
Comments	8
Date	August 14, 2014 6:41 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2dkatp/how_to_be_nicekind_without_being_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-be-nicekind-without-being-beta.141372 https://theredarchive.com/post/141372

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