It's almost been a year since I left behind the oneitis of my teenage years. 5 years wasted. I was beta as shite, but even then I resolved to bury my feelings and learn my lesson about how horrible it is to chase after a girl who you know doesn't like you.

I pursued new hobbies, and after coming here, resolved to improve myself. But for some reason, thoughts of her still linger in my head at night. No matter what I do, when I lay in bed, my brain defaults to all those lame hopes I had about me and her.

I've been trying to figure out why this is so deeply rooted. I removed her from my life in every possible way, but my brain won't let her go. A few nights back I got blacked out at a party and my friends said I started sobbing uncontrollably about her. Fuck.

This is a major obstacle. I would like to put this all behind me, but it seems that what I've been doing hasn't been working. Lifting, running, working on computers, cars, sports... Hell. Even getting drunk as fuck doesn't help me escape.

I'd like some advice as to how to proceed in a healthy way. Thanks. How did you all deal with your oneitis?

EDIT: A bit late, but I wasn't clear. Sorry. I never made it past beta orbiter.