How to handle a flake?

twoliberal · 2015-08-11T04:46:03+00:00

There's nothing to analyze here.

She's a 23 year old adult. She's not nervous/scared/etc. Perhaps a bit stupid, but that's 20 somethings for you.

Her lack of communication IS her way of communication (she's weak, commits to shit she didn't want to really do because she's non-confrontational and didn't wanna say 'no').

This is not an issue of her not being "that" interested.

She's just not interested, period.

She also does not want to be perceived as a bitch, which you would have perceived her as no matter how she rejected you based on the way you're rationalizing things now.

Do not try to make this out to be something it is not.

Just drop it. Do not initiate or engage her. If you see her in person ignore her. Silence.

Move on. Have a good time with others who are respectful and worth your time.

She'll feel stupid. You'll have compromised nothing.

Several months or even a year down the line she will suck your dick. But if not, you'll still have come out on top.

The end.

beachbloke · 2015-08-11T04:36:33+00:00

Follow your red pill you.

"hey got your text, hope everything is okay, give me a call back" <- Good that you recognize this was bad form. It communicates that you are committed and lacking abundance.

Next is the answer. Try not to think about the why. It could have been a million different things. Just next. If she comes back around on her own take her for one last spin.

Also don't be butt hurt about the first flake. It legitimately happens sometimes. Benefit of the doubt and DGAF. Have fun

rurpe · 2015-08-11T04:42:32+00:00

She's not into you anymore. Hard next and move on.

[deleted] · 2015-08-11T05:06:38+00:00

The red pill in me says, cut your losses, move on. If she was interested she would call, text or something at least.

Correct. Don't chase, replace.

[deleted] · 2015-08-11T15:02:23+00:00

I didn't even read the body of your post. Next a flake, you failed to to give her 'tingles' and she is not interested.

Jessie_James · 2015-08-11T16:34:54+00:00

My take:

Met up with her a week later and had drinks, played pool, then kissed.

Good.

Texted her to hike

Hike. Really? A hike? How in the world are you going to have a chill time, she can get dressed up and wear that sexy thong, and you can have a drink or two and end up in bed. A hike. Sweaty, dirty, dusty, hiking boots and maybe even a few ticks. (Don't get me wrong, hikes are fine, but they are not dates, let alone a second date.) You screwed up. The key here is that a hike is something a male friend could do with you. You could ask a dude, or a female friend, and there is zero sexually connotation there. But would you really ask your dude friend out for drinks? He'd say "Uh, no ... no thanks." Drinks says "sex", it says "date", it says "intimate". Don't ask women out on "friend" events if you really want sex.

Made definite plans with each other this time on the phone for next week.

Ok, I assume a dinner date? What did she do to deserve a dinner date the second time you went out and after she bailed on you? She gets none of that, at most she gets a drink or two.

During the week she texted me if it was possible to meet earlier for dinner,

Generally, this is okay to reschedule.

She cancels date. "something came up, can we reschedule. I'm so sorry" BS

I would have told her something like "Hey, it's fine I totally understand, I'll let you know."

Then delete her number.

do I move on because shes just not that interested?

Yes, exactly this.

If she was interested she would call, text or something at least.

And she would not have flaked on you twice. A woman who is interested in you will cancel plans with everyone else to be with you.

Therefore, you blew it somehow. The last minute texts are a HUGE RED FLAG in my experience. It means she's making plans with another guy (or 2 or 3) and you are her absolute last resort. When Chad, Dick, and Harry all cancel on her ... she can at least go get a free dinner with you.

Never, ever entertain any woman who does this. You make the plans (drinks, Thursday, 8pm, the Steakhouse) and she accepts and is there ... or you next her. And your first few dates should NEVER cost more than $20. "I'll buy you a drink or two" should be the norm. If she won't come and get tipsy with you, and risk sexy time, she's not attracted to you.

The shitty women want you to take her to dinner, a movie, a club, a party, or something where she is using you for your wallet. Beware.

If you hear this line, or a variation of it, next her every single time.

How about you call/text me the night of the date and I'll let you know?

Title	How to handle a flake?
Author	LegSnapper206
Upvotes	8
Comments	12
Date	August 11, 2015 4:22 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3gjyat/how_to_handle_a_flake/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-handle-a-flake.152270 https://theredarchive.com/post/152270

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