As I think back through my life, through all the times I was treated like shit and was completely unaware I become infuriated. Highschool was a big mess and for some reason only now - 4 years later am I making all the connections; it isn't just high school though, it's every waking, breathing moment I've ever had that I feel like I have been undermined at every step - never at any point of those times did I ever feel that way - but here it is, slapping me in across the face.

When you know what everyone's projection of you already is and how it is seemingly seeping down the drain everyday, every day more that I don't make an Instagram post after months; thinking to myself that "I'm just biding my time".

This isn't a romantic noir. Perhaps I'm just a mad man and everyone was just poking fun at someone they perceived to be a psycho. But I can't help but feel that their actions were part of this grand vicious game that we call "Life" and that every one is somehow secretly aware that they must draw blood to get anywhere.

I'm not yet broken it seems. I haven't yet reached so low a point that this mentality is etched into my brain. Of course, to the extent that it can be - what can I do hold grudges for longer? To be more calculating and to learn who I can trust and what I can disclose, and to always be on my feet?