I'm 23 and graduated college (a good liberal arts school) in May 2019. My parents urged me to take a few months to myself after graduating before looking for a job, I had struggled with some bad depression and anxiety throughout college, so I did that while taking online classes to help get myself a data science job. However I was in an LTR which became long-distance after graduating. I was stupid and should've left her way before I graduated but the past is the past. The relationship became a disaster and we broke up December 2019.

Anyways, after I realized the relationship went on way longer than it should've, I ended up having a full-on psychotic breakdown where I was barely functioning for 3 months. Wanted to kill myself, could barely get out of bed let alone think about getting a full-time job. Honestly the Covid lockdown is what brought me out of it because the world slowed down and I got back on my feet.

I started doing work for my dad and continuing with online courses, but finding actual employment during the pandemic was tough. I mainly was focusing on getting my mental health back to a good place, as well as focusing on my main hobbies, guitar/music and golf, and working out daily again.

I eventually landed a job in September thanks to my friend, doing research for a consulting company. However last month they had to let me go because they suddenly lost their two main clients thanks to the pandemic uncertainty, and had no more work for the foreseeable future.

So, now I'm back to square one, living at home and looking for a job. I've been applying to multiple data analytics/data science positions every day since I got laid off, been networking with people over email/phone calls too. I've only gotten rejections so far though despite having couple interviews.

I know I will find something eventually but it's hard to keep my head up. People I meet ask me what I do for work and when I tell them I'm in between jobs, they are clearly judging me. I feel pathetic. I'm worried that I won't get any job I apply for and I'll end up being a pizza delivery man at age 35. I come from an area where most kids my age get investment banking jobs right out of college and move to the city, so I am like an outcast. It also doesn't help that I am on an 8 month dry spell and it doesn't look like it's going to get much better right now with Covid.

Honestly, it feels like I'm doing everything else right. I lift religiously and I'm pretty strong, I run, I focus on eating well, I have hobbies that I can focus on that bring me happiness. I'm in therapy, and I've started meditating. I'm well-liked in general by people in my social circles, I'm in two different bands who have released albums. I am lucky to that I have parents who are able and willing to support me during this time. I just need to have a career and have more purpose in my life.

Sorry this post is kind of long. I'm not here for pity, I'm done making excuses. I know it falls solely on me to get my shit together and own my life. I would just like advice on how to not fall into negativity/depression because of my situation.