How to respond when called out about something I’m embarrassed about?

CashSplash123 · 2020-12-15T22:23:54+00:00

Agree and amplify.

Or deflect. “Are you sure you’re not stupid?” Point out a flaw on him like his haircut or clothing style choice.

AloofusMaximus · 2020-12-15T22:28:24+00:00

You fucking own it.

Maybe a tribal tattoo on your forearm was a stupid idea, but you made that decision.

My parents signed for my first one at 16, I thought it looked cool then. It's still there today, and that's the answer when people ask if there's a story (I just thought it looked cool).

zitandspit99 · 2020-12-16T10:47:20+00:00

Just own it. If someone asks you why you got it then tell them the real story; you were young and drunk and adventuring in Thailand. Could make for a decent conversation starter.

Regarding insults, just ignore them. Like literally just show no reaction at all and walk away if you can.

Sukadadddy · 2020-12-15T22:28:36+00:00

Those tattoos look dope man, maybe he was just salty that you were getting more attention than he was?

Next time, just ignore him. It will burn more. Don’t even acknowledge his existence

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-12-16T03:43:31+00:00

In this case I’m talking about a big tribal tattoo I have on my forearm. I’m cringing just typing that. I had it done 9 years ago when I was 18 on a party trip abroad.

Oh well. Getting ashamed and insecure about something from your past you don't have control over, is mental masturbation by definition.

It's called Self-pity and self-loathing.

This is a game for primary school children. It's an unbecoming habit for men who truly aspire to virtues like greatness, taste, courage and mastery of a field.

Yeah sure, you can't always keep this hold-back from infancy from coming around. But you don't need to entertain it, and you don't need to live there.

In this case I’m talking about a big tribal tattoo I have on my forearm. I’m cringing just typing that.

More self-pity. That's a bad habit and you should identify that crap and move past it.

I had it done 9 years ago when I was 18 on a party trip abroad.

Say whatever else you want. Few people have partied as hard as you. Don't you forget it, my son.

And now at 27 you’d expect I knew how to own my shit,

The person's expectations you're talking about here are yours and yours alone. M

There's a reason why there's disconnect between your expectations vs the reality here.

I think It's another way you're trying to cope with, cognitive dissonance, boredom and frustration, by indulging in self-pity. Specifically this is by Shifting the Goalposts in a hostile way, to set yourself up as some kind of miserable failure or exceptional loser.

You're free to do that if you want, but at some point you're going to have to crawl back out of the shame closet and get back to getting results.

Some random guy at a party a couple years ago said something

So, this is someone who has earned your respect for his opinion by bringing value to your life and showing highly effective behavior? Because he sounds like a sad sausage with zero chill.

So you need to ask yourself why you've put this guy up on a massive pedestal such that his shriveled opinion somehow means something.

Title	How to respond when called out about something I’m embarrassed about?
Author	Brogba420
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	December 15, 2020 10:21 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/kdvz2o/how_to_respond_when_called_out_about_something_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-respond-when-called-out-about-something-im.1060049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060049

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