Been a "nice guy" aka pussy most of my life. I'm not a lost cause or anything and I've been making great improvements the last two years... but since I've been trying to up my online dating game a bit I've been taking more videos and selfies of myself.

I find my movements and general appearance looks "soft". I can't describe it, but what I'm thinking I look like in my head is not at all what comes out on video.

I understand posture is very important and I've been hitting the gym consistently for 5 months (save for a rotator cuff injury that put me out for close to 2 months). Physically I'm in pretty good shape now - down to 168 lbs @ 5"10

Despite posture and all the other factors, when you see "soft" people you can spot them right away. I can't pin point it but there's just this x factor that's there. I work in IT and see this a lot with other guys that are jacked, dress well, are otherwise pretty alpha, but you can spot it from a mile away.

Anyone have any generic tips or info on how to appear less "soft" ?