Hey, I (23) had 2 dates with a really sexy cougar (47 I know, but she looks 35 years old Heidi Klum), I met on Tinder.

First Date: was spontaneous just 1,5 h of eating pizza and talking, bill split. I got to know her a bit and she has no kids, a high end job and was really just looking for hot guys, she usually dates guys 30+ I was the exception She was obviously not looking for a provider...

Second Date: She fetched me from the trainstation and we had coffee at hers. Talking for about 2 hours and we had great fun, I always made her laugh and she got physical and touchy. I didn't even notice the age difference, she used more curse words than I! Then I massaged her neck, and she undressed part by part until I started kissing her. We went to the bedroom then, making out and rubbing against each other naked. Then I got up, and it all went to hell, when I tried to get the condom on. I was not hard enaugh. I could not roll it down orderly. Then a downward spiral strated. I got stuck more and more in my head. - Damn! I wanted it to work out so bad. Such an attractive cool woman. She even decided, spontaniously that I can stay the night and sleep and I can't even get it hard for her... - I tried to get mysef under controll and made a joke "well you can't play pool with a rope" and we laughed and started to just cuddle. Then we ate something and went to bed again. We couldn't sleep and at 4am she started to extend her leg to me. I got horny and fucked her, first really hard and good, but then I started thinking too much again about performance and I couldn't cum and after an hour she asked, when I will be done, because we should get at least some sleep. I was very sweaty, so she "put me" unter her shower and then we slept. Then she even drove me to University in the morning, when I could as well have taken the Train and I still was thinking "yes I got a new fwb, she is so nice"

It was all with charming and funny jokes, but I already knew I was not the rude stallion she probably wanted. Even though I am very good looking (very masculine and mature, I get that often) and I was always self-confident and made her laugh, there was something missing, or to be more accurate: There was to much thinking and niceness on my part.

We texted a little bit since then and today she wrote, that I am a really cute, cool and intelligent guy, but the sex doesn't work out with us and since we both have enaugh friends to talk to and meet up with, we probably won't see each other again...

My answer was, that I could understand her, she wanted hot sex with a young stallion and I gave her the comforting cuddle bear, followed by the question, what exactly was the problem, the part with the rubber, or the part later, where I lasted too long and that I understand, I won't get another shot, but I want to improove because there are many daughters with beautiful mothers left and I don't have to do the same mistake again.

Now she want's to talk to me on the phone, probably she does not want me to feel so cheap. Shall I talk to her, or just ignore it, maybe it's a gigantic shittest.

My question is: How do I get more badass and stop thinking too much? I can display some cool alpha behaviour, but I still am too nice and even tho' I can intellectually grasp and analyse that, I still fail when the Situation is at hand. With my exgf or with some stupid drunk bitch I always get hard, I don't have low T or ed , it only occurs with women I really like. I freaking hate only fucking dumb little girls, who are insecure and unexperienced, so they put up with me being gentle and nice.

I want to rail some hot cougars really hard! How do I get there?

I have no problem finding them and be charming to get them interested, it is always, the freaking putting-on-the-rubber-thing, that ruins it, but I can't just rawdog away at it either :(

Hope you feel my pain, after that rant. Maybe some of you have or had the same problem and can help me out, and please no lecture on how older women are ugly and not worth it, one time I had the same problem with a hb 9 my age.