Huge problems with self amusement,how do i fix?

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2018-04-23T11:14:44+00:00

Humor is one of the best ways to set a sexual atmosphere... Bit I'd you have to force it, I'd advise against it cause it's very detectable

PlataoPlommo · 2018-04-23T13:36:59+00:00

Perhaps humor is not your strong setting, and you should try other strategies. Work on asking good questions as well as becoming an engaged and active listener.

I am not saying you cannot change that (lack of humor). Evidence for that can be found here and at the main subreddit.

For me, humor comes from a place when I am relaxed and confident. Perhaps what you are lacking is true confidence? Is girls making you nervous? If that is the case, then approaching more and engaging girls will desensitize you (for the better).

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-04-23T20:28:18+00:00

You need a couple of solid techniques, and a bunch of practice.

Not sure if I've actually seen much of this in the sidebar, but I am sure it's out there.

The secret weapon for success in conversation, which blew all other methods out of the water, is to first tease and then put yourself into a situation together, and escalate it.

As an example, the other day I went on a date with a girl and I asked her what she did for fun. She said she liked to bake cakes. I said I fucking love cakes, you're hired. We're opening a shop together, you'll make the cakes, I'll be the gorgeous face that brings in the crowd. We'll split the profits fairly, 70/30 to me.

No longer are you in interview mode, and you are no longer trying to frantically find ways to tease her. You've brought her into your fantasy world and you're in control of the story. She will love it and you'll just build on it, working out how you're going to get rich, what you're going to spend the money on, how you'll pay her minimum wage and keep her locked up doing 14 hour shifts, etc. etc.

This kind of thing will get the conversation really flowing. Then, another technique is to just alternate your conversation. So ask her if she has any other hobbies, maybe you can find a use for it in the shop. You can now ask her boring interview questions (to keep the conversation going and share details about each other) by tying them into this fantasy world. Jump back and forth between the two.

This is my top method for getting things going, and it provides tons of ways to tease her when you can be a bit stuck sometimes.

EhzmwGGh · 2018-04-23T11:39:40+00:00

I am wondering whether humour is really all that necessary. I can follow up on a joke or sarcasm but I am rarely the one initiating it. I am simply not 'that funny guy' who cracks a joke at every occasion and I neither I want to be. I have roommate who is born entertainer and from my perspective people enjoy his company but only handful of his friends actually respect him.

Cmdrj-nice · 2018-04-23T12:28:56+00:00

I think am like this with chicks am interested in but with girls am not interested in I subconsciously tease them like there is no tomorrow

Fm661 · 2018-04-23T12:36:00+00:00

You’re trying to hard, relax and enjoy the conversation is the first step. You can’t just go and bust out jokes unless you first feel comfortable, so start with that. Learn to walk before you try and run.

redhawkes · 2018-04-23T13:22:35+00:00

By being in the NOW, present moment and have fun yourself.

You need to read this and the comment section also.

resnine · 2018-04-23T17:00:30+00:00

Yep the Q & A thing is a bore fest "Where are you from?", "Do you like XYZ?", "What your favorite XYZ?" and the like. As well as the personality-type I like to call the deep-philosopher, talking about "deep shit" as you call it will get you no where. Few girls are into deep conversations about existential questions, it's that song goes "girls just want to have fun". You allow them to have fun, you control that scene, don't bore them with a infinite sea of questions, or deep philosophical questions, be the presence. Easier said than done, I know, I am there with you. It's something I need to fix within myself.

Title	Huge problems with self amusement,how do i fix?
Author	necropoly
Upvotes	10
Comments	23
Date	April 23, 2018 8:55 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ea1i9/huge_problems_with_self_amusementhow_do_i_fix/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/huge-problems-with-self-amusementhow-do-i-fix.128683 https://theredarchive.com/post/128683

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