I beta'd it up...

Haptic_Affinity · 2014-05-22T15:27:56+00:00

You're treating her differently because you think she is special.

How would you treat any other woman you want to see again? that's how you need to act.

scalentorn · 2014-05-22T15:20:09+00:00

Well, apparently she has lost interest. Look, we have all been there, I've done the same thing a few years ago and kept texting, pressurizing her. And let me tell you one thing, it is never the solution and it always makes things absolutely worse.

It seems really hard for you to salvage this but best action to take would be cutting all connection for a few days or maybe a week and see what happens. If nothing happens, well, she's gone.

Don't be too hard on yourself and talk to someone else during that period.

1NV0K3R · 2014-05-22T17:39:09+00:00

she's a 24yr old virgin that never had a boyfriend before.

Trust me OP. You dodged a bullet.

Source: My ex-gf.

AlchemyPhoenix · 2014-05-22T21:44:23+00:00

Completely change the subject. Send her a total non-sequitur text, like "Holy shit I just met your doppelganger! There was this girl at the grocery store who looked just like you except she was goth with black nails and a spiderweb tattoo on her neck. I should have taken her picture."

This reinitiates communication while avoiding the awkwardness of talking about "what the two of you are." Keep it light. Go back and forth with a few pointless comments, then gradually work flirting back in. If at any point she stops responding, it's best to let this one go and chalk it up to beating the rust off. Worst case scenario, you will meet someone else and feel silly that you were so busted up over her.

New_Horiz0ns · 2014-05-22T17:05:33+00:00

Full blown honesty. Meet her and poke her with your dick like a battering ram.

Fuck it! Be a battering ram. For context: During the Roman Empire, many cities were taken. The operators of the ram would go full steam ahead and smash that gate. They wouldn't consider if this gate is reinforced. Or if other ram's hit it before. Their mindset was to smash that gate down.

At this point you have proved to her, you are a man who does not have the capacity to take that pussy and ram it. Therefore you got nothing to lose, besides beta orbiter status. You have to engage the ram.

AYearOfDomination · 2014-05-22T18:27:46+00:00

Remember, there is no unicorns and be wary of sticking your dick in crazy.

Cryocasm · 2014-05-22T18:48:35+00:00

It's good that you are reflecting on your fuck up, because what happened there is that your frame caved in:

and actually started to hope internally that I found my snowflake.

This completely warped your game and destroyed basically any chances of you getting her, especially when you killed the kissing bit.

I suppose you can salvage it by giving time, then setting up a date at your place or similar. It's a fairly big gamble but if she still wants your D, she'll say yes to your place anytime.

Starrucca · 2014-05-22T18:49:52+00:00

The part I worry about it this:

I should've escalated and kissed her, but in my defense, in my mindset she was different because of her inexperience, I didn't want to go too fast or make her uncomfortable.

Are you gonna let this girl dictate the pace of everything you do or are you gonna be the racy motherfucker that gets her soaking wet every time she sees you? Think about that next time.

Pushnikov · 2014-05-22T20:58:29+00:00

A) Drop it. Don't prod her.

B) If you do prod her, it's to do something. If she doesn't respond, next her.

What you did wrong probably : Texted too much with her. Text with her for a minute tops, and always build up towards hanging out.

Why? Girls get validation from the texting. In the end, they feel satisfied with just having gotten your attention, and that they're special enough for that attention. You should make them feel like they're at a bottom of a very long list of people and chicks that are important to you until they earn that special place. So, to get the validation they want, they will have to hang out with you. Especially a 24yo "virgin" is going to be a total cocktease. They are going to get their kicks way more on the validation than the idea of sex in itself. A drop of validation to a chick like that is going to totally satiate her needs.

The not escalating to a kiss thing is probably another issue - but I'm guessing you can play it off like she fucked it up. I know it seems like you're responsible - but I had a situation with a chick I was hoping to close with never got anywhere. I got the impression we were both a bit bored. She apologized at the end of the night for not having more energy. I basically realized I can play it off like it was her fault we didn't get more energy going - and that she bored me in fact. Girls hate the idea they might have not been enough. So, when you come from an angle of abundance (which I definitely have right now), you start looking at things as less of a "how did I fuck up", and more from a "how can I turn this to my advantage".

[deleted] · 2014-05-22T21:17:05+00:00

If you like her then go for it. Just know that she'll probably fall really hard for you. Or maybe not. There's no guarantee but you must know what you could get yourself into.

Right now she probably feels rejected by you. So she is backing off.

Give her a call. Tell her you want to see her. But only if you really do. Take her out. Plant a big one on her.

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2014-05-22T21:20:34+00:00

Wait- red flag because she was a virgin?

And yet... red pill ideology also puts up red flags for a woman who has had sex.

Nothing wrong with her being a virgin.

The fact that her texts to you have declined can mean anything. Could be she's working more hours. Could be she's considering if she wants to go further with you. Could be her parents are in town.

Don't freak out over stupid shit.

Tell her you're watching Die Hard or something tomorrow night. Tell her it'd be better if you had beer or pizza. Let her invite herself over. If she comes over, treat her decently, but no better than you'd treat a really fat ugly girl. You know, respectful but not falling on your face trying to please her.

This stuff ain't real hard.

Title	I beta'd it up...
Author	YugenWP
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	May 22, 2014 3:11 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/267qgk/i_betad_it_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-betad-it-up.139939 https://theredarchive.com/post/139939

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