Hi TRP,

I just need someone to talk to or let me know things are going to be ok. I think I am extremely depressed and I don't see any hope of things getting better. Recently, this girl I was seeing ended things with me. It all started Friday when I was suppose to pick her up from a club so she can come with me to this other club. She headed out to the city earlier than I did because I was working and I was gonna pick her up once I got into the city and then we were going to meet up with people at another place.

I ended up meeting up with a few friends at a different club and had a few drinks before I decided to go get her. When I get out I decide to tell her to take a taxi to the club we are suppose to go at since the place she's at is a quarter mile down the street and I am a bit tipsy and my car is parked far away and that I would wait for her to get here and pay for her taxi. Long story short, she ended up getting a ride with someone else later that night and they took her home and I get a text from her saying that we need to talk. I know, I fucked up.

Next day we text back and forth and it basically came down to her saying we can remain friends and that she is sick of living in disappointment after giving people second chances. A little history on us is that back when we were 19 we use to have a thing and then split ways because I didn't know what I wanted and I hurt her back then too when I left abruptly without notice. Since then she saw me 4 years later at a concert rolling my face off and then at another event being belligerently drunk which was very embarrassing. She ended saying that this was my time to build trust with her and all these events that happened say so otherwise. We also had nye plans together and those got cancelled as well.

We saw each other for about three weeks but we talked a lot about the future for us and I don't know if it was something she was doing just to kill time or if she actually meant anything she said. I will admit I did put her on a pedestal and changed a few things about myself to better suit her needs to say or look better to her. Then what was a slap in the face I thought was that we were talking about going ice skating and going out the city and just yesterday (2 days after the incident) she posts things on snap chat of her at the ice skating venue and pics that look like she went out on a date with someone (pics of her dinner and her at someone's place prior to that playing with a dog)

I don't know what I am looking for on here. Maybe just need to get things off my chest or looking for some advice if you are kind enough to give it. I feel like the world's biggest selfish asshole and I don't know if I can have this on my conscience and live with it. I hurt this innocent being who was willing to give me a shot and I blew it. She was something else, never have I ever felt this way about someone and I can't believe I treated her like I did. I don't think I am worthy of anyone's love or will ever be capable of it. I am slowly starting to lose myself inside this empty house.

I know TRP is the place where I can get straight, cold, and to the point advice. I have been lurking on trp for a few months now and would like to see the fellow trp perspective on this. I know that the days leading up to this event I was starting to lose my frame and becoming too available I.e answering her very phone call and replying to every text. Is there anyway I can dig myself out of this one? Or is it a lost cause? From what I've heard from other people is that she seems to be a flirt and been with numerous guys but to me it seems like she was not what any of these people make her out to be besides a genuine, sweet person.