I need help.

DanReggins · 2014-02-16T09:04:57+00:00

You're still very young, bro. You've got a lot of room to grow.

No one taught me about self respect, so I never learned how to stand up for myself. At times it's almost difficult.

Doing so tactfully and positively takes LOTS of practice, even as an adult. There are times that the right action is getting into a supervisor's face until he cries, and there are times where you have to pokerface and backstab.

Consider the military. If you go in and actually apply yourself, and use your time -- even in a warzone -- to learn a career and better yourself, the sky is the limit.

There are soldiers who spend literally 12 hours a day on fucking facebook, and then there are others who work alongside the contractor$ and learn what they do and use their time productively.

In the meantime, tell a good bro to learn how to stand up for yourself. It's not always about having a snappy comeback or throwing a fist.

FinnianWhitefir · 2014-02-16T07:30:34+00:00

Dr Drew talks a lot lately about how he thinks Attachment Disorder is the main driver of a ton of problems in our society lately. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_disorder

Basically a maternal parent is supposed to make a child feel safe and provide them a 'home base' to explore the world from. A paternal parent is supposed to help usher the child out into the world and convince them that they can safely leave that 'home base'. One or both of these fails, leaving a child who is unsure of themselves, scared of the world, and not willing to do anything.

When I was 36 I got into therapy with a strong male therapist. I had to get used to him questioning me, defending my views and thoughts, and understanding my thought processes that were unhealthy. Being able to communicate safely and honestly with someone while simultaneously figuring out why you think the way you do, goes really far in helping you progress as a person.

However, this is probably amazingly common for an 18 male. Things changed a ton for me for the better at 28 when I got my first 'career job' and could actually provide for myself. Understand that you will probably feel this way until you have accomplished something in your life, until you have a means to provide for yourself, and until you feel superior to a lot of the people you see around you.

Johnny10toes · 2014-02-16T14:42:39+00:00

OK so you've got a goal. Great. Now set your time limit. You've got youth on your side and that's good. When I was a little older than you my employer asked me a question. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? At the time I didn't have an answer. I lived for right now. Your goal is your end game. No not when you die but when you achieve the goal. In chess you are continually working to improve your chances in the end game. Now we can give you a few opening lines to follow but you'll be on your own in the middle game.

Get a good job. Tradesmen make good money so look into a trade. Going to school takes time and money. Some of the trades have schools but a lot are still on the job. I build powerlines and I like it. It is a manly job. Outdoors, physical, mental. Spartan race? How about grabbing gear and material hiking 1000 feet up a mountain in Arkansas and climb a 50 foot pole with steel spikes strapped to your feet and then work when you get there. Right, see you at the top!
All this time work on your self respect. Make small victories and you will achieve this goal.

AveofSpades · 2014-02-16T07:33:50+00:00

My life has been a disastrous whirlwind of shit. I've been emasculated, treated like shit, conditioned to be weak. The ones closest to me have hurt and damaged me. My psyche literally feels like it's throwing up sometimes. I know I'm a strong person, my environments have been damaging and have damped the person I should be.

This. This man. Kill it. You sound whiny,and nobody likes whiny.

My request is advice on how to start. I'm an 18 year old male, with little to my name. I don't know what the hell I'm doing and I don't know what to do.

No one taught me about self respect, so I never learned how to stand up for myself. At times it's almost difficult.

Great.

You own it to yourself to be the best person you can be. So start lifting, http://stronglifts.com/stronglifts-5x5-beginner-strength-training-program/ works wonders. Take hikes/long walks/ whatever keeps you moving on off days. And read in your leisure. 48 Laws of Power, http://www.amazon.com/The-Laws-Power-Robert-Greene/dp/0140280197, is a great start, and incorporate your focus onto reading whatever subjects you find suitable to your goals.

At the end of the day, it's on you to cultivate the life you desire. You have time, energy and self-awareness on your side.

Good luck

TooMuchToDoo · 2014-02-16T18:28:54+00:00

Start listening to personal development CDs. I am a fan of Jim Rohn personally, but there are TONS of others (Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Mark Victor Hansen) that you can listen to. Audiobooks are killer.

Title	I need help.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	February 16, 2014 6:52 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1y1moh/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-need-help.171476 https://theredarchive.com/post/171476

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