I need more basic help than TRP. Where can I learn about basic human social interaction?

MusicSports · 2017-12-28T21:43:03+00:00

People are gonna call you autistic but really you're just thinking WAYYYY too much. You don't invite people to be friends. Nobody is gonna be offended if you want to hang with them. If you enjoy people's company ask if they want to do something together. It's way more natural than you're letting it be. Find a hobby or something social that YOU like to do. Go to it and you'll meet people who also like that thing. Keep going and you'll bond and then you'll do other things those people like and meet their (your new) friends. Snowballing friendships!

FaderOne · 2017-12-28T22:57:16+00:00

To get to the age of 22 is very remarkable fucking thing… To be able to wake up survive the day go to sleep and have some sense of executive function is amazing. Statistically amazing. And gone through an inch Acacian system, you know how to do basic tasks, you are already ahead of so many people as dumb as this might sound. What you lack of confidence you’re good you got this. If I were you I would read the sidebar, read the PDF, force yourself to just go out to a random event every week with a goal of meeting new people and practice getting out of your zone… Have a goal me two new people a week. Travel to a different city if you’re afraid of failure, being in a different place is often empowering. Give yourself a peptalk in the mirror every morning… You need to build confidence, you’ve got this you do not need a hard reset. Do you know who needs a hard reset? People that go through physically life changing events. You were not one of those, stop being a victim and pick yourself up.

blackedoutfast · 2017-12-28T23:17:18+00:00

first of all

Would it be weird to go to her residence (I remember where the driver dropped her off) and try to salvage?

yes that would be super creepy definitely don't do that.

you should focus on making male friends for now. with your complete lack of social life, there's a really good chance that you'll catch a severe case of oneitis for any girl who interacts with you (like the uber chick). also, if you dont have any kind of social life that's going to weird out girls when they find out.

you need to think about why anyone might want to become friends with you. some people are like you and desperate for any kind of social life and are willing to be friends with any warm body that's willing to be friends with them. if you're truly starting from zero, that's better than nothing. but you'll need more than that if you ever want to be friends with decent quality people who aren't losers.

do you have any hobbies or interests? if you're into golf, or homebrewing beer, or a certain genre of music or a billion other things, that's a potential in if you meet someone else who is also into it. you can provide value by being a potential golfing buddy or whatever.

there are 3 things that help create closer friendships: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other. that's why most people's social circles consist of coworkers, neighbors, people who participate in the same hobbies and activities, etc.

and if there's someplace nearby, like a bar/pub that you can regularly hit up, that's an extremely easy place to meet people and make new friends.

it can be tough to build up quality social circles from scratch. once you have some friends it becomes exponentially easier to add more, because those friends provide networking opportunities and people will be more interested in making friends with a person who has a social life than with a friendless loser.

start talking more to strangers to practice small talk and to help get over your fears. even small stuff like if you go to starbucks and get a coffee, don't just order your coffee. "hey how's it going? ... yeah it's cold out there, have you been busy today? ... haha well try to stay warm." just dumb small talk like that will help you feel more comfortable talking to strangers in a social environment.

try to stop overthinking and overanalyzing everything. just try to chill out in general. if you're talking to someone, just talk to them. don't worry about all the meta stuff.

IlluminatedElf · 2017-12-29T00:44:09+00:00

I don't think there's any specific literature written on this (if you are autistic) except for books on general human psychology and books on communication. Read everything and whenever someone makes sense to a situation that you face, keep that with you.

I am autistic and like you, no friends and no relationships. There is one big difference, I am female. That being said, I have other social disabilities that make me very different (in a bad way).

The first things that I found were important to me was to know my disabilities. Don't listen to politically-correct people who tell you that "You're fine" or "You're OK, everyone's different" or "It's all in your head". Find people who are more sensitive to your differences and can point them out to you. Preferably, this is someone who can keep things confidential aka someone you pay off with a favour/money.

Next, a SWOT analysis. Play to your strengths and opportunities and stay away (at the beginning) from your weaknesses and threats. Eventually, work on your weaknesses.

Next, mirrors. Get a mirror and practice expressions (there are practice-guidelines on websites). If you are autistic, chances are that you may have the wrong expressions on your face so you will need to correct it. Practice posture; I automatically tend to have poor posture around people because I am trying to hide, subconsciously. You have to stand straight, shoulders not slouching.

Always try to make people feel obliged to you. People who are obliged to you are somewhat at your mercy; this is harder for anyone that is dealing with women because women feel more entitled to things. I'd suggest starting with men. Be useful and be purposeful, slowly you will stop feeling like you shouldn't be in a place.

Hobbies help. That being said, not all hobbies are created equally. I have an obsessive nature and while people can admire the results, the process of me going working on something is not for the public eye. So, I chose a hobby that is solely for human interaction. This is based on one of my favourite books on human interaction is a non-psychology book; it's a book by a famous photographer who has taken pictures of countless, very famous people.

It made me realise the power of sharp clothing, a neutral voice, and a camera. Part of the hobby requires me to be calm, collected, and in control. I put ads online for free photoshoots and this is where I have learnt to interact with more women than men. The role of a photographer is to be invisible and observe; this is the best learning ground for anyone with autism. It also allowed me to notice people as they are asked to behave differently. I also learnt about angles, poses, and expressions, which helps me in my personal life.

Note: I am a shit photographer. I have only done one photography course and have an old, terrible camera. I also only promise to give back several photographs, after post.

I am currently using the Red Pill LTR strategies for my friendships. I don't rely on anyone more than myself. For now, I don't care about permanence; if I feel lonely, I call people and ask them out for dinner, and I have the things I want to talk about prepared. They are my entertainment/study material in exchange for food/tutoring/photographs.

For now, I feel uncomfortable accepting invitations. I also don't do favours for people where I get nothing in return. Don't allow yourself to be used by others, ever.

FieldLine · 2017-12-29T03:29:03+00:00

I believe I have a more fundamental problem, which is one of a lack of experience with human interaction.

In your first paragraph you have already diagnosed your problem. Go out and do the work.

Should I learn to trust my instincts and take chances regarding social interaction?

Yes. You will make mistakes. But as you continue to do so you will hone your instincts and build your social muscles.

What makes people want to be friends with you?

I make people feel good about themselves. The key to being socially successful isn't to make it obvious that you're the smartest, the strongest or the most educated one in the room. After all, anyone who has the goods doesn't have to brag about it. It is self evident.

No, you want people to feel good about themselves when they are with you, so that they will continue to seek out your company. (This isn't accomplished by mindlessly complimenting others -- indeed, too many compliments decreases the value of a particular one.)

I can further develop this idea if you are interested.

zboo1h · 2017-12-29T01:14:25+00:00

All you need is a time machine. Go back to preschool/kindergarten and get socialized properly. Otherwise you're fucked.

Really though you're too young and dumb and full of cum + you think too much. That's all. Go lift.

ArtingIntellect · 2017-12-29T05:57:30+00:00

Read "How To Make Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

vandaalen · 2017-12-28T22:10:47+00:00

So how much do you overhead press for 5x5?

Self-honest · 2017-12-28T22:49:45+00:00

Nobody cares about anything you're worrying about.

know_your_path · 2017-12-29T03:39:59+00:00

Read in this order: how to win friends and influence people, way of the superior man, Meditations by marcus aurelius, Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

That'll give you a layout of some basics of interaction, of reasonable attraction, of decision making, then of how not to take it so seriously

Title	I need more basic help than TRP. Where can I learn about basic human social interaction?
Author	Lego_My_Alter_Eggo
Upvotes	9
Comments	17
Date	December 28, 2017 9:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7mpj6i/i_need_more_basic_help_than_trp_where_can_i_learn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-need-more-basic-help-than-trp-where-can-i-learn.120904 https://theredarchive.com/post/120904

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