~ archived since 2018 ~

i'm done with myself.

[deleted]

September 14, 2014

3 upvotes

/r/askTRP

My name is Tom and I live in south-France and I’m done with myself. I’m done with myself because I’ve been on ‘pause’ for the last 3 years. I almost can tell you every day routine over the past 3 years. I’l just tell you guys right now. I smoke a lot, play wow, I love a girl and can’t get her out of my head -> fap a lot, eat nothing or something bad and in the weekend I go out and get really drunk (wasting almost all of my money). Repeat, repeat, repeat. It confronts my while I am typing this.

I am depressed, can’t concentrate, have zero discipline. I don’t know what I want, but I want everything.

I’m a mess and 18 years old.

Alright, I’ve tried to improve myself and still going ‘pretty’ good. I’ve got myself a nutrition scheme and a good workout plan for mass. At this moment I know what is want.

I want to move on. Live the dream was dreaming the last years.

Forget the girl, read books, quit gaming, stop smoking, minimize drinking, stop fapping, get rid of approach anxiety.

Please give me some advice

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Post Information

Title	i'm done with myself.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	September 14, 2014 10:56 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2geozg/im_done_with_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-done-with-myself.194206 https://theredarchive.com/post/194206

Comments

[–]1wakethfkupneo3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1wakethfkupneo0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sort of. FWIW I'm 40yo, married, 2 kids.

From 12 things he listed:

1) no snacking, max 3 meals - I did even better, went the intermittent fasting route (skipping breakfast) and made it a habit.

2) wake up early 5am - it was 7am for me (note that Victor mentioned in one podcast that he also wakes up at 7). That was a compromise in order to get more than 7 hours (8 recommended) of sleep for healthy testosterone levels.

3) cold showers every day - I skipped some days, but eventually I got used to cold showers and after some months I've finally started to enjoy it to the point that hot water feels unnatural to me - so yea, made it a habit.

4) no porn/masturbation - I've started the nofap even before this book. I was relapsing occasionally, but always put myself back on track (my record being full 90 days).

5) 100 pushups/situps/squats per day - this one I failed. I did start to exercise though (bodyweight) but it's far from regular training.

6) dress for success - I didn't pass this with flying colors, but now I pay much more attention to how I look. Before this my dressing strategy was "if it fits I sits". I used to DGAF. Now I do.

7) to-do list - this one was not hard but annoying, at least for me. Did it for like 2 weeks. Funny thing is my life immediately turned into a mess after I forgot making lists (although there were external factors).

8) stand tall and proud like a lion - big success and a life changer. I am now always aware of my body posture and it takes less and less effort to keep reminding yourself to stand straight, chin up, etc. It takes time but is slowly becoming second nature (I used to slouch). I took a step forward and am now working on improving eye contact.

9) no excuses, no explanations - semi-success. I am mostly aware of this aspect and I've made significant progress, but I do occasionally catch myself explaining to others. It's a life long habit that's tough to change.

10) writing ideas down - huge fail. Took me only 3 or 4 days to completely forget about this. Partly because I was overwhelmed thinking about other 11 things all the time (still, it's a BS excuse).

11) work towards your definite goal - not that I didn't do anything about it, but the main problem with this was that I couldn't decide what was my #1 priority (I wanted to do all at once). Instead of being fully concentrated on 1 goal, I was jumping around.

12) lazy sundays - no problem, lol.

In retrospect, even though I half arsed through this (but for full month) it was well worth it. I changed to the point that my wife started not only giving me standard shit tests, but also compliance tests. For the first time in a long time I sensed her fear that I might find better. I still remember the weird and pleasant feeling when I realized that, the very first feedback I've got and it was only few days after finishing my 30 days challenge.

I intend to go again through 30 days of discipline, only this time I'll do exactly as the book says. Victor Pride is the real deal and knows what he's talking about. Kudos to him.

[–]HardPillToSwallow3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Priivet 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Dick-Tracy 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Priivet 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Dick-Tracy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Foreign policy issues matter very little to me.

Yet you're advocating that someone be willing to take up arms and dedicate their life to the cause of said foreign policy?

Seems to me like a very unconsidered worldview. With only one life to live, why should someone subject themselves to optional authoritarian control (in the form of one's commanding officer) for an organization that has the end goal of enforcing a foreign policy that matters very little to them?

There will always be a war somewhere.

True, but regrettable, and approaching it with the attitude that it's inevitable seems to imply we shouldn't do everything we can to prevent conflict from reaching the point of open warfare.

If you find yourself at a dead end at 18 with no money for college and no money to travel it can be a very good option.

Or it could result in your death, or you could just have a terrible time for your entire tour of duty during what could have been some of the most fun and rewarding years of your life.

I maintain that the only people who should join the military are those who believe in what it is doing. That belief is a function of foreign policy. Were we at war with a real enemy that actually posed a serious threat to our respective homelands, it would be a different story, but as long as the wars we fight are more about defending corporate interests and cycling money through the military-industrial complex than they are about actually defending the common man, it's a fools game to sacrifice your life in them.

[–]Priivet 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yet you're advocating that someone be willing to take up arms and dedicate their life to the cause of said foreign policy?

Soldiers don't enlist after checking the political wind. I joined before 9-11. Politicians make mistakes but the US needs a standing Army regardless of that.

When I say policy matters little to me I don't mean to say I am unaware of whats going on. But ultimately I was a soldier so I simply followed my orders. You seem to think we sat around in my airborne unit discussing the geopolitical implication of every jump. Soldiers focus on the mission at hand.

True, but regrettable, and approaching it with the attitude that it's inevitable seems to imply we shouldn't do everything we can to prevent conflict from reaching the point of open warfare.

And your solution to this is simply have no one enlist? That is naive and simplistic. I would say we need more men of high caliber in the ranks to ensure that even if the conflict is unjust the actions of the soldiers are.

Or it could result in your death

You could say that about anything. Combat deaths in Iraq have been extremely low. But yes if you are afraid of getting hurt then the military is not for you.

you could just have a terrible time for your entire tour of duty during what could have been some of the most fun and rewarding years of your life.

My time in service was extremely rewarding. I saw the world. Walked in the ruins of Babylon. Had dinner with Kurdish families. Met some amazing people.

I maintain that the only people who should join the military are those who believe in what it is doing. That belief is a function of foreign policy. Were we at war with a real enemy that actually posed a serious threat to our respective homelands, it would be a different story, but as long as the wars we fight are more about defending corporate interests and cycling money through the military-industrial complex than they are about actually defending the common man, it's a fools game to sacrifice your life in them.

I hate to sound like a shit but this is just reddit fedora drivel. The corporate military industrial complex blah blah. Welcome to the real world kid. There are no good guys and bad guys. Everyone is grey. Ultimately I feel like the US is a stabilizing force in the world. I am proud of most of the things we do. Our military is literally unstoppable in any conventional sense.

I spent time in Kosovo and can tell you the common man was defended there. I deployed to Afghanistan in the earliest days of our involvement there and can tell you our fight to push out the Taliban was just. We helped a lot of common men that desperately wanted help to drive those extremists out. In Iraq the Kurds in northern Iraq were relieved to finally be free of the Bathists who had been oppressing them for decades.

We certainly made mistakes later in the Iraq theater. We traded a brutal dictator for an ongoing civil war. There are things I think we could have done to stabilize the country but we certainly made some mistakes there.

I realize how condescending it sounds but it is hard to explain these things to someone who only reads about them on reddit. My time in the military connected me to the world and opened my eyes to a lot more good and bad than I would have seen otherwise sitting in front of a computer discussing everything as a hypothetical.

[–]Dick-Tracy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

it is hard to explain these things to someone who only reads about them on reddit.

You know why this sounds condescending? It's because it's an allegation without a shred of evidence. You do realize there is an entire world of reading material out there outside of Reddit that other people have access to, yeah? I have read books, watched documentaries, talked to people who have been to war.

You seem to think we sat around in my airborne unit discussing the geopolitical implication of every jump.

I don't see where I said that. I find it really difficult to converse with people that insist on using logical fallacies - in this case, the strawman - instead of paying attention and delivering a considered point.

Of course you're not sitting around debating the jump beforehand. The time to do that was years prior when you decided to join the military, with whatever level of knowledge of geopolitics you had at that point in time.

But ultimately I was a soldier so I simply followed my orders.

And this, right here, is why I'll never have a Support Our Troops bumper sticker, or agree with the sentiment in any way. Following orders blindly is what a slave does, and I will not be a slave, nor will I respect or support anyone who voluntarily chooses this for themselves as a career as opposed to doing so out of necessity.

And your solution to this is simply have no one enlist? That is naive and simplistic.

My solution to this is significantly more complicated; it involves fixing foreign policy so that militaries serve primarily as peacekeepers and emergency forces for natural disasters. Only in the event of an attack on the homeland should direct combat be truly necessary.

If foreign policy was sorted out, enlisting would be far less problematic, because the implicit statement of support for the country's foreign policy would no longer be a negative, unintelligent act like it is in the USA.

(Is this a good time to mention that I'm Canadian? Wouldn't enlist here, either.)

My time in service was extremely rewarding. I saw the world.

Airlines exist for civilians to use

just reddit fedora drivel.

No, this is TRP. We keep the fedora white knights out of here. This is a considered viewpoint from an intelligent man who would not be willing to sacrifice his own life for America's corporate war in Iraq.

There are no good guys and bad guys. Everyone is grey.

There's still a gradient; there are still lighter and darker greys.

Ultimately I feel like the US is a stabilizing force in the world. I am proud of most of the things we do.

Then you are worefully ignorant of what your foreign policy has done over just the last hundred years. It's a theme in America to give massive piles of weapons to dissident groups, terrorists, etc. and then to come storming in a decade or so later to fuck the place up because it's full of heavily armed terrorists. El Salvador. The middle east, every decade for forty years. And then there's Vietnam... you do realize that this is a trend, this is a theme, and it's clearly endemic to the way the military-industrial complex works, right?

No, you don't. You do what you're told.

We traded a brutal dictator for an ongoing civil war. There are things I think we could have done to stabilize the country but we certainly made some mistakes there.

"Mistakes"? ISIS is more than just a mistake. It's the continuing and ongoing proof that even with a display of ridiculous and insurmountable force, the USA is impotent to deal with the real issues, and instead can only make its own problems worse, to the benefit of arms manufacturers.

My time in the military connected me to the world and opened my eyes to a lot more good and bad than I would have seen otherwise sitting in front of a computer discussing everything as a hypothetical.

I too step away from the computer on a regular basis. You'd do well to realize that you're not the only person on the Internet who doesn't live in their fucking parent's basement.

[–]Priivet 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You know why this sounds condescending? It's because it's an allegation without a shred of evidence. You do realize there is an entire world of reading material out there outside of Reddit that other people have access to, yeah? I have read books, watched documentaries, talked to people who have been to war.

That doesn't mean you are not just parroting the same tired old leftist bullshit about the US I hear every day on reddit.

using logical fallacies - in this case, the strawman

Oh here we go with pseudo intellectual logical fallacy bingo.

Of course you're not sitting around debating the jump beforehand. The time to do that was years prior when you decided to join the military, with whatever level of knowledge of geopolitics you had at that point in time.

My point is being a soldier can be completely separated from the foreign policy of the government. When I ran security patrols in Mosul we were doing good work in that moment. We were combating the lawlessness in the area. Despite what brought us to that point within the context of our missions we were doing good.

And this, right here, is why I'll never have a Support Our Troops bumper sticker, or agree with the sentiment in any way.

No one is asking you to put a bumper sticker on your car. Everyone in my unit cringed whenever people would thank us in airports and other gestures like that.

Following orders blindly is what a slave does, and I will not be a slave, nor will I respect or support anyone who voluntarily chooses this for themselves as a career as opposed to doing so out of necessity.

We simply disagree on this principle. being a part of a unit and following lawful orders is perfectly honorable.

My solution to this is significantly more complicated; it involves fixing foreign policy so that militaries serve primarily as peacekeepers and emergency forces for natural disasters. Only in the event of an attack on the homeland should direct combat be truly necessary.

That's quite a trick though isn't it? Magically making foreign policy perfectly apply to your fantasy wishes about how the world ought to be.

No, this is TRP. We keep the fedora white knights out of here. This is a considered viewpoint from an intelligent man who would not be willing to sacrifice his own life for America's corporate war in Iraq.

I have to say your comments are bordering on on a 4 out of 5 fedoras. Logical fallacy bingo, military industrial complex, corporate war. Its like neck beard leftist bingo over here. You have the buzzwords down cold.

There's still a gradient; there are still lighter and darker greys.

This is true and in the larger picture the US is far more light grey than any other competing superpower.

Then you are worefully ignorant of what your foreign policy has done over just the last hundred years

Which has been to stabilize the world. Despite what you seem to think we live in the most peaceful and prosperous time in human history. Thanks in very large part to the massive military might of the US.

I too step away from the computer on a regular basis. You'd do well to realize that you're not the only person on the Internet who doesn't live in their fucking parent's basement.

Your naive point of view does nothing at all to show me you get out of your basement. I have not heard anything from you I don't hear in every 9-11 truther or wikileaks / snowden thread on reddit. Military industrial corporate drivel.

[–]Dick-Tracy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Priivet1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]2niczar0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AskTRP Endorsed ContributorAlphaAsFAQ0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]3alreadyredschool0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link