Looking for advice ( 17 years old )

Fucty_Artsy · 2014-05-03T10:44:19+00:00

Establish proper boundaries, don't let you get walked over by anyone.

Don't try to be liked by other people. People either love you or they hate you, if you want to get liked by everyone you don't get either of love/hate. Always stay in your own frame.

Don't let your mind believe you're still a child. Make yourself believe you're a grown up man. Let loose of your self doubts. We often get treated the way like we think from ourselves we are.

Do more manly stuff. Fix things (house, car, home etc.), time for yourself with good whisky, beer, cigar if you're into this stuff.

Use up much space. Don't sit around with crossed arms and legs. Reach out and use that free space. You'll realize you become much more confident with such a simple change. Stand streight but also relaxed.

Don't be easily amused but be self amused.

Maybe grow some beard :)

[deleted] · 2014-05-03T12:06:25+00:00

One thing that might help is remembering you have LOTS of time. This stuff isn't going to happen overnight, but by starting your change now you will be awesome in a few years. Bear in mind that a lot of posters are 23-24, with many in their 30s too, and they are only just starting to turn their lives around. In 6 years you will be in a much better position than so many of the other guys on here. Just keep reading and keep on going

[deleted] · 2014-05-03T14:18:18+00:00

i have wasted my whole life

Dude, you're fucking young. I wish I had started when I was your age.

everyone is treating me like a child

It doesn't feel like that to you, but you are a child. You still have a lot of shit ahead of you. Keep improving and you'll be good. As for not being a pussy anymore, I can recommend martial arts.

jsphere256 · 2014-05-03T15:49:44+00:00

You want some advice? Everyone is treating you like a child because you are 17 years old. It's a shame, but that's the world in which we live. As long as you prioritize others' assessment of you over your own, you'll actually feel like a child. Feeling like a grown man requires putting yourself first; you are only accountable to yourself for your own maturity and responsibility.

You're exercising, socializing, studying, and earning money. Good. Keep doing those things. Keep getting better at doing those things. The reward of satisfaction comes after you realize that you are fully capable of taking care of yourself and, eventually, fully capable of taking care of others (your family). Everything else is auxiliary to that core - self-sufficiency.

When I say that you should prioritize your own self-assessment, that doesn't mean you shouldn't give a crap about what others think. It's important that you stay connected to society and can appeal to others for support, fellowship, and community. Just don't rely on it for your identity. If you keep doing what you're doing, you won't have a problem with that. Basically, growing up requires a lot of patience, but you should never doubt that you'll reap the rewards of manhood in the end.

Becoming a man is more difficult than just surviving, which is hard enough. Survival means you keep doing what you're doing; becoming a man means you get better at it.

caxica · 2014-05-03T19:09:57+00:00

Fake it till you make it.

Don't let people walk all over you but don't be a total dick either. Maintain frame and never lose your cool.

blueboarder · 2014-05-04T02:46:50+00:00

Build skills and stretch your comfort zone. A simple but incredibly useful skill is learning a language. "everyone is treating me like a child" No, you are allowing them to treat you like a child. Stamp a foot. If you're right, hold you're ground. If you're wrong, do NOT SAY SORRY. Dissemble and fix the problem (it might be your own approach on the matter but never admit that.) Reading will only take you so far, you have your dad who is BP (according to you). Why not get involved with other guys in your community, a lot of people are viable role leaders. Finding an effective role leader would help. "Stop being a pussy" Improve yourself, get cocky with regards to everything you do. You are fucking brilliant!!! That's the mindset you need to project. If you won't why should anyone else?

Title	Looking for advice ( 17 years old )
Author	NGMG
Upvotes	4
Comments	6
Date	May 3, 2014 9:20 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/24m0ec/looking_for_advice_17_years_old/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/looking-for-advice-17-years-old.139648 https://theredarchive.com/post/139648

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