Looking for comment/advice with this plate...

Archwinger · 2014-08-06T17:21:08+00:00

First date pretty calm...Logistics through an F-close out of possibility

For next time, plan your first date better. Don't waste time meeting a girl off of Tinder unless you have a path toward fucking available. That risks her flaking before meeting #2.

This morning I get a text saying she wants to slow down.

Shit test. She wanted you to validate her, demonstrate how important she is to you by expressing a willingness to wait/slow down, commit to exclusivity, etc.

Based on previous experience, I just say k.

That's exactly how I would have responded. Hopefully, you then went out with a different girl that night and fucked her instead. This one plate you're dealing with isn't special, and she's not worth any kind of extra effort.

She kinda calls me out, I tell her I'm not looking for exclusivity and a long slow relationship.

Honesty is the best policy. You don't want to con some girl into bed under the false pretense that she actually has a shot at a serious relationship with you. She can fuck you under your terms, or you can find someone else who will. She's not special, you are. She can be on your rotation, or one of your other options can. That's entirely up to her.

I don't hate or not want an LTR, but I'm gonna be picky as fuck this time (just got divorced).

Learn from your mistakes. You've been there and done that. Do you really want to go there and do that again?

She's since then said I thought you were different,

Shit test. She wanted you to lower yourself to address her argument substantively. She wanted to shame you into defending yourself, i.e., "I am, baby! Give me a chance, please!"

I told her good luck at work this year and I guess your not coming down Saturday now.

That's a little more verbage and a little more passive aggressive-sounding than you probably meant for it to be. I probably would have just responded with another "k" or ignored her text. Couple that with going out and fucking some other girl.

You don't want to validate the "I thought you were different" shit test with anything she might perceive as responsive or defensive. If you really felt the need to reply substantively, you could have agreed and amplified her shit test. "You're right. Let's get married right away. I think I still have a piece of wedding cake from my first marriage in the freezer." Or turned this around on her "I am different. I got you into bed in two dates...wait, that's common for you?"

HS-Thompson · 2014-08-09T15:04:16+00:00

You admitted yourself that the sex wasn't particularly good, not a good performance by you. That's probably relevant.

She's probably ok with having a fuck buddy that can get her off when she feels like it. She's probably also willing to have a relationship that gives her the things that relationships provide for women.

She may not be willing to have neither though, and that seems to be what you're offering her.

r_a_w_k · 2014-08-06T17:04:34+00:00

She wanted a casual fuck and she got it. Don't expect anything serious to come out of tinder. Women today are fleeting; they come and go. Hop on, enjoy the ride, and look for the next one. You definitely can't start getting feelings or oneitis on tinder dates.

Title	Looking for comment/advice with this plate...
Author	3toss
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	August 6, 2014 4:48 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2csufw/looking_for_commentadvice_with_this_plate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/looking-for-commentadvice-with-this-plate.141202 https://theredarchive.com/post/141202

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