I was spinning plates successfully until meeting my current LTR who I've been seeing for 9 months. There were no red flags during the vetting process. She was very submissive, an HB9, eager to please, and jumped through hoops to be in a relationship when I wasn't.

During her birthday, I met a friend of hers who is similar to me in body type and facial features (muscular and bearded). When I introduced myself, he came off as stand-offish and reserved so I figured right away that he was one of my gf's ex-boyfriend or orbiter. He left early in the night after my girl was drunk and all over me.

About a month later, my girlfriend says that this guy and her hung out with two couples that we know mutually. I asked if the guy was an ex-boyfriend of hers and she confirmed he was. I made it very clear that spending time with ex's is very disrespectful and drew my line in the sand. If the roles were reversed and I was spending time with my ex's; she wouldn't be very happy. She played stupid saying they were just friends and they dated 5 years ago, etc etc., but agreed that it was disrespectful.

A couple months later, I haven't heard anything about this guy and things are sailing smoothly. She gives me her phone in the morning to order coffee and a couple texts pop up from her ex, thanking her for a "card". I immediately ask, "Does your ex typically text you first thing in the morning?". She sees the text, apologizes profusely, and said that they had a conversation about limiting their interactions now that she's seeing someone and that she was angry that he was texting her. Apparently, she sent him a card for his birthday and he was texting her thanking her for it. I would never sent an ex-girlfriend a card for her birthday and can't see this as being appropriate when you're in an LTR.

Am I being too harsh to be considering a next at this point? I don't want to mate-guard. I'm considering heating up some old plates in the meantime to apply some dread.