Just a bit of background. I’m 5’9, white,21 years old, and decently strong (can bench 260lbs at 160lbs bw) and fairly successful (without specifying exactly what I do, I’ve travelled to some of the top facilities in the world to do scientific research). In most regards I’m fairly happy.

My experience with women has been otherwise. I’m not a “kissless virgin” or anything; I’ve basically done everything up until sex with (a very attractive) girl I met when I was travelling in Europe. Tbh though, she was very innocent and her lack of sexual lust for doing things was kind of a big turn off. This was last summer, I’ve been home for around 9 months now.

Since then I’ve had one successful encounter out of maybe 5 (still no sex though, and she didn’t want to be FWB afterwards).

I’ve been on a few dates and met a few girls at parties, but nothing ever seems to go anywhere. I’m confident enough to kiss them and everything, ive never really had a problem with that, I just think maybe I don’t set up the mood right. I have maybe a few theories and if possible would like a few suggestions.

  • I talk too much about myself. Not in the sense that I go on and on about myself and don’t ask questions or give the girl a chance to talk, but maybe I’m not mysterious enough. I certainly find myself bragging at times, maybe I ought to make it as difficult as possible for girls to learn about me (maybe they should really need to probe to find out).
  • I am super impatient. I’ve always been this way, and in some ways it’s probably what has made me a successful person. But I think it is unattractive when I try to rush things along too quickly.
  • I come across as too desperate. I’ve never had a problem with friends: I’ve always had very close trusting friends, but when it comes to girls I really want to be successful. Moreover, I might give off a too cuddly vibe when making out etc. I think my texting game sucks because I text back to quickly.

Overall any time a girl comes into my life it’s the only thing I can think about and it shows (perhaps subtle body language ques) when I meet up in person or am talking to a girl at a party. It’s a shame because this kind of obsession is what I think allowed me to be successful at other things. People talk about the “abundance” mindset on this page, but it’s REALLY hard to have when you have nothing going on.