Mate guarding and jealousy

Blackhawk2479 · 2019-07-08T17:12:28+00:00

Obviously it’s different if you’ve been married for twenty years, but if you consider yourself “locked” to your wife then you’ve done it wrong; she should be locked to you.

In other words, you’ve spent years building yourself into the best man you can be, raised your SMV through discipline and hard work, then suitably vetted your options so that when she pushes for exclusivity you’re happy with that arrangement. Then, she should be trying to keep you around, and she should be the one that feels the need to mate guard, not vice versa.

Terdmuffin · 2019-07-08T17:16:29+00:00

The problem is that if you don't like it when your girl hangs with other dudes, you shouldn't commit to a girl that hangs with other dudes in the first place. You can tell her you don't like it but that won't work well because by letting it happen in the first place you've already been telling her it's okay for a long time. You only have to mate guard if you get into a relationship with a chick that does things that makes you want to mate guard.

acp_rdit · 2019-07-08T17:21:34+00:00

If your wife or ltr decides wants to fuck other guys she will, no amount acting acting like a little bitch on your part will change that. Her hamster will spin and figure out a way somehow make it your fault, thats just the way things are.

You telling her that her getting attention from other men bothers you will INCREASE the chances of it happening. Because it shows that 1. you fear competition and 2. you will suffer if you lose her because you will have a hard time replacing her. Both are indications of a low value man.

What you can do is make it clear, through your actions not your whining, that if anything happens that is outside of your boundaries that you will drop her with no hesitation. And you never "set" those boundaries with words. You make her walk blindfolded toward the edge of that cliff.

Then she has the choice of being with you, or of stepping out and "having some fun" but she knows, as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, that she can't have both.

Project_Zero_Betas · 2019-07-09T01:10:51+00:00

dont you have to mate guard to be in a relationship?

No, you need to be possessive, not jealous. There's a fine line between them. Jealousy indicates she's the best you can do and thus can't afford to lose her, possessiveness tells her you care enough about the relationship to warrant investment, but are willing to cut your losses and run if the situation dictates it. Women are repulsed by jealousy, but adore possessiveness.

Title	Mate guarding and jealousy
Author	SirAustinHumphrey
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	July 8, 2019 5:02 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/canox1/mate_guarding_and_jealousy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/mate-guarding-and-jealousy.244857 https://theredarchive.com/post/244857

Comments