So when Mr. Life-of-the-Party shows up on the scene bursting with energy and exploding with enthusiasm for everyone he sees and cracking jokes left and right, I tend to get tied in knots in my head.

I presume I am responding to some mistaken beliefs I have about the situation, perhaps along the lines of:

  • I should be different
  • I should be more like him
  • I should be more outgoing
  • I should try to just speak more for the sake of (I-don't-know-what)

I do tend naturally to be a pretty quiet guy. I suppose I'm one of those "once you get to know me" types that people like and are friendly with, but at first I'm pretty reserved. I don't have that sizzling charisma, energy, and enthusiasm around other people. I know I could hone my social skills quite a bit, but at the end of the day I tend to feel like a lot of people have diarrhea of the mouth. I also don't feel like there's a need to completely disown my natural inclination towards introversion.

Still though, when situations like I mentioned above occur, I find myself being self-critical.

I will especially start to feel self-conscious if I am speaking with two other people and they seem to be back-and-forthing quite a bit. I start feeling conflicted because on the one hand I might have little interest in the conversation, but on the other I judge myself for being reserved. And I admit thoughts like "this guy never shuts up" also pop up.

I wish I could approach these situations with a fresh attitude that is not self-critical. But I also wonder if maybe I AM too reserved. I have never been able to find a position of peace on this matter.

Does this resonate? Or maybe you think this is total bullshit and you have a much needed kick in the ass for me?