Oneitis called me boring

AbdulCapon · 2018-11-02T00:36:55+00:00

I'm gonna keep it real with you.

Hereis the problem:

SHE said it. And YOU cared.

You focused too much on making the dates interesting FOR HER. When you go on a date you must ENTERTAIN YOURSELF. YOU MUST have fun. Ask her questions, tease her, touch her and escalate. And keep the date short and sweet. But most importantly YOU MUST HAVE FUN. Not her.

BrutalMan420 · 2018-11-02T00:38:19+00:00

sounds like you have no life / mission. you probably have no hobbies or skills. if this is true then yeah youre a fucking boring cunt. you need to have some passion or do something impressive or valuable. if your only goal is to enter relationships with women you havent even fucked yet then youre a dumb boring beta cuck. your SMV sounds low. you should know what you need to do now.

YesToControversy · 2018-11-02T01:39:58+00:00

I suggest that in your study-free time, besides lifting, you go and read books on every subject matter possible. Best ones are nonfictional, historical and political books.

Also get into two sports. Be it soccer, basketball, whatever. Make it non-mainstream. Get into climbing, yoga, or boxing.

Minimize your video game time. This doesn't build character. Build the hand eye coordination through sports.

Get a job. A Minijob is great for a student.

Volunteer! Your university or college should have plenty of interesting volunteering opportunities.

Learn another language. This is great for your career too, like volunteering.

Dress as well as your wallet allows it. Keep your beard and hair top notch too.

Keep impeccable hygiene.

Smile more, even if it's just a smirk. People will be attracted to you and wonder what you've been up to. Great conversation starter that you never even needed to say a word for.

Always be calm, don't talk too much, listen more, analyze before speaking. Every word you say should have weight with it. That makes you mysterious and irresistible. Great character trait in the job market too.

Watch men that are greater than you, in any aspect. Physically, financially, intellectually, sexually, whatever. What is it they have that you lack? Imitate them. Learn from them. Mould yourself into a version of them that you want to be.

And lastly, realize that all the above is just a meaningless pile of words → IF YOU DON'T PUT THE WORK IN.

Good luck, kid.

kristuhfur · 2018-11-02T04:26:45+00:00

Embrace your qualities. I'm kinda awkward and stupid too, those are generally viewed as flaws and I saw it that way too for a long time. And I would get scared of letting people know that I'm awkward and stupid.

being scared of coming across as boring and awkward and trying super hard not to say the wrong thing will only freeze you up. Just try not to care. it's easier said than done, but trust me if you just keep improving yourself- working out, eating right, practicing hobbies and forcing yourself into social situations that might seem uncomfortable for the sake of practice- you will start to care less because you will realize how unnecessary it was to be worred about it in the first place.

You're going to stumble a little bit. After a while I started to slowly chip away at that filter and overall it was a good thing, but every now and then i'd say something cringe as fuck and then i'd feel super embarrassed but you gotta keep in mind that everybody says and does dumb/awkward shit. If that happens just take a mental note not to do/say stuff like that again and you'll be fine. And don't let a shitty awkward moment change the tone of the conversation. When I was more beta, if I said something awkward or cringey I wound up feeling like I should just keep my mouth shut from then on. I felt like I'd lost my speaking privileges because of the cringey shit i just said and I was scared of saying more than one cringey thing so I'd just go silent. That was just a lack of confidence. I had to slowly learn not to be affected like that. When you say something cringey or stupid just find a way to put it out of your mind as quickly as possible and continue on with the flow of the conversation. People are going to be most fixated on the last thing you said so if you get embarrassed and give up as soon as you feel the awkward/boring vibe then they will view you as awkward/boring. If you power through and change the tone then they won't see you that way.

Nowadays the dumb shit I say is just part of my humor and I've realized I'm not really as awkward as I thought I was. the awkwardness was actually just me trying too hard to say the "right thing". There is no 'right thing' to say. There are plenty of wrong things you can say, but there's never one right thing to say. Just say whatever you wanna say. Even these days sometimes I still don't "know what to say" but the difference now is that not knowing what to say doesn't keep me from talking. You don't have to have all the words planned out before you say tham, it's ok to just blurt shit out sometimes. That's how you show your personality. If you police and critique everything your going to say before you say it then you're not being genuine.

Also, it's fine to have bad interactions. Some interactions are just going to be awkward no matter what, and that's fine. just don't be the guy who gets stressed about it.

friendandadvisor · 2018-11-02T03:05:13+00:00

did you even escalate it?

-saltymangos- · 2018-11-02T04:08:28+00:00

be spontaneous. that’s the key. you want to excite her. keep her on her toes.

HurricaneHugues · 2018-11-02T15:45:04+00:00

Did u ever escalate at all? She's not calling u boring because you have nothing to talk about. She's calling you boring because her dates with you as a man severely lackedd exciting intersexual interaction. You don't give her tingles. You didn't inspire physical desire in her and you didn't signal physical interest in her. You didn't do anything related to the reason why she went out with you in the first place. Women go on dates with men because they want you to want them. They want you to fuck them.

Title	Oneitis called me boring
Author	Silversleague
Upvotes	12
Comments	19
Date	November 2, 2018 12:30 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9tf7u0/oneitis_called_me_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/oneitis-called-me-boring.53629 https://theredarchive.com/post/53629

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