Last friday I was invited to a house party in a nearby village. Had a pretty good time: hard bass music was played, lots of cute chicks were there, free booze was flowing all night long. There was however something that kept gnawing my psyche through the night, preventing me from having more fun than I would've.

You see, when I arrived at this village, a coworker from my own village escorted me to the party house. When we got inside, he announced me by shouting "Look guys! Sheldon is here!" and a lot of chicks and dudes from my village just happened to be inside and they all greeted me cheerfully like "Yaaaaaay Sheldon! Sheldon!" Having no idea how to adequately respond I just raised my hands in the air looking at everybody with a smile like a Hollywood actor greeting the public when he gets up on a late night show. Needless to say I felt pretty weird.

Sheldon is what locals have been calling me for ages -- since I haven't hung out with them for like 4 years I totally forgot about it up until that moment. The reason I got that name attached was not because I was exceptionally good at physics (god forbid) or have got a similarly shaped face like Sheldon (true), but because growing up I used to be a clumsy, quirky, socially awkward kid. The fact that I've got a nasal voice as well as a speech impediment that makes me say "r"s the french way, while living in a Slavic country where rest of the population pronounces a solid-rock-hard "R" was also not helping me out.

I take this to be a societal shit test: these folks were all 1-3 years younger than me, and presumably they find me to be a low value man. Occasionally throughout the night, guys would approach me with "Are you good, Sheldon?" "How are you Sheldon'?" "You having fun, Sheldon?" as I was working the room, while this 165cm tall nurse chick 50 houses away with flat black hair and big ol' tiddies would come to me like "Hey girls this is Sheldon!" "Come dance Sheldon!" whenever I was interacting with girls at the party not from my village. I'd responded to these shit tests by either imitating the Hulk or simply brushing it off, but I can't shake the feeling that there's a much better, wittier, more clever way to make a comeback. How would you guys respond?